📙 Part 2: Describe a time when you encouraged someone to do something that he or she didn't want to do.

This episode's vocabulary

Stands out (phrasal verb) – to be very noticeable or memorable. → Of all my teaching experiences, this one particularly stands out.

Chaotic (adjective) – in a state of complete confusion and disorder. → As a teenager, she had a very busy and chaotic life.

Inconsistent (adjective) – not staying the same in quality or behavior; not regular. → Good results cannot be achieved if we are inconsistent with our work.

Make progress (phrase) – to improve or develop. → She started using the notes from our lessons to make progress.

Put out (phrasal verb) – to be annoyed, upset, or offended. → When I gave her the feedback, she didn't seem particularly put out at all.

Poker face (noun) – an expression on someone's face that does not show what they are thinking or feeling. → She could have just had a good poker face and was secretly angry.

Raging (adjective) – feeling or expressing violent, uncontrollable anger. → She was maybe absolutely raging about it internally.

Ultimately (adverb) – finally; in the end. → It's ultimately a student's responsibility to do their homework.

Rational (adjective) – based on or in accordance with reason or logic. → It made sense to explain this in a calm, logical, and rational way.

Convince (verb) – to persuade someone to do something. → I had to convince my student to take her homework more seriously.

Get someone to do something (causative verb phrase) – to make or persuade someone to do something. → I had to get one of my students to start doing her homework properly.

Take something well (phrase) – to react to something, especially criticism, in a calm and positive way. → With regard to how she reacted, I think she took the feedback rather well.

Questions and Answers

Maria: Describe a time when you encouraged someone to do something that he or she didn't want to do. You should say who he or she is, what you encouraged them to do, how they reacted, and explain why you encouraged them to do something.

Rory: Well, I'm a teacher, so convincing people to change their behavior is sort of part of my job. But one time I did that, which particularly stands out, is when I had to get one of my students to start doing her homework properly. When it comes to who she is, I won't name names, because that's a bit rude, but she's one of the younger ones, just a teenager. So I imagine she's got a very busy and chaotic life, as is the case for most teens these days. And probably it always has been. Anyway, whatever the reasons, she wasn't doing homework properly, and while I don't mind that normally, it was important because she wanted to achieve a good result for her IELTS exam, and these things cannot be achieved if we are inconsistent.

So in terms of what I encouraged her to do, it was simply a case of making sure that she had enough time to do everything that was required. And not only with the grammar and vocabulary, but also using the notes from our lessons to make progress when organizing her writing and speaking answers.

And all I had to do was show her what was necessary to achieve the required results, and how it all related to the exam criteria. With regard to how she reacted, I think she took the feedback rather well. She didn't seem particularly put out at all. But then she could have just had a really good poker face, and was maybe absolutely raging about it internally. And if she was, I wouldn't blame her. It's not easy for someone to realize they need to do even more work than they already are, but I hope it was clear about how it might help in the future. If I could have changed things to be different and easier, I would have, but it just wasn't possible. Which brings me to why I encouraged her to do it. Well, it's ultimately a student's responsibility to do their homework or not. I really want her and others to do well in life and get the best result possible. So it made sense to take time to explain this in a calm, logical, and rational way. Hopefully, she saw the necessity of it all and didn't do it just because I asked, but you never can tell sometimes, can you?

Discussion

Maria: Right, dear listener. Rory told us about his student, who he encouraged to do her homework. What can you talk about? So you encouraged your friend to do something. They didn't want to do it, but you encouraged them, and then they did it. So, maybe to study a foreign language, to study English, or to start cooking, to start driving, but you should choose an easy activity. Or you can say, I encouraged my friend to do homework. To do English homework. And you steal Rory's story. Yay. Easy. Easy peasy.

Rory: I hope so.

Maria: Convincing people to change their behavior. So encourage people to change their behavior or convince people to do it. Convince means to persuade someone or make someone do something. So I convinced my friend to do their English homework. Or I convinced my parents to give me the money. For example. Oh. One time I did that, which particularly stands out, is when I had to get my friend to do their homework, for example, yeah? And you can say, oh, that's a difficult topic, but one time, one time I convinced my friend.

Rory: And it stands out.

Maria: Yes, stands out, I remember it very well. And this is the whole phrase, one time I did that, which particularly stands out, which really stands out, is when I had to get my friend to do something. So to convince my friend to do something, to encourage my friend to do something, or to get my friend to do something.

Rory: To make them do something.

Maria: Yeah, make is actually stronger, right?

Rory: I think so. Yeah.

Maria: You forced them.

Rory: You forced them. Yeah.

Maria: Oh, force, yeah, that's a good one. So force. I forced my friend to do something. Come on, you have to do it, you have to do your homework or I'll beat you.

Rory: If it's less strong, then maybe strongly encouraged.

Maria: Yeah. I strongly encouraged my friend to start driving. Or I made my friend drive. But here you say, I made him do it. I made him to do it, no, no, no. I made him do it, or I encouraged him to do it. Okay?

Our favorite linking phrases. When it comes to who he is or she is. So when it comes to... It's my student, it's my friend, it's my mother, it's a random person I don't really know, I encouraged them to give me a discount. I forced them to give me a discount.

Rory: I asked very politely and made a strong case.

Maria: Exactly.

So this person has a chaotic life, chaos, not organized. And that's why they don't do any homework.

Rory: Busy, chaotic, disorganized. Something that Maria and I never are.

Maria: No, I am, I'm horrible.

Rory: I don't think so.

Maria: Oh, yeah, you just don't know.

Rory: It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.

Maria: I'm hiding, I'm hiding it. But now, dear listener, it's open. I tell you the truth. I am a freaking mess.

She didn't do homework properly, like properly, correctly, well. But it was important for her to achieve a good result for her IELTS exam. Hmm. So, dear listener, you can say, my friend didn't do English properly. Didn't do English homework properly. So, I made them do it every day. Download the application and do English every day.

But here, for example, if you talk about your friend learning a foreign language, you can say, I made my friend use Duolingo every day to learn Italian.

The second our favorite linking word is in terms of what I encouraged them to do is... Or was. In terms of something, I did something. In terms of who they were, he or she, yeah? Or in terms of what I encouraged her to do, it was...

So I encouraged her to do grammar exercises, vocabulary exercises, to use an app every day, to use an application daily to do her tasks to make progress. So she made progress. She did the tasks and then she saw her progress.

Rory: And to go into more detail about it, it was a case of... so instead of saying, what I did was, it was, it is a case of.

Maria: Yeah, I made sure she had enough time. I made sure she knew what to do. With regard to how she reacted, I think she was okay.

Rory: She took it well.

Maria: As for how she reacted, she took it well. She was okay, she was fine.

Rory: She seemed to.

Maria: To wrap it up, you can say, the reason why I encouraged her to do it was because... I encouraged her to do it. I convinced her to do it. I forced her to do it. I made her do it. Yeah, stronger.

Rory: Or which brings me to why.

Maria: Yeah, which brings me to why I encouraged her to do it. It was because...

Rory: Ultimately, in the end.

Maria: I want people to do well. Yeah, finally. Finally, ultimately, I want my friend to succeed in life, to make progress, to do well in life.

Rory: Ooh, talking about feelings though, have we missed something? If someone is absolutely raging...

Maria: That means...

Rory: that they are extremely angry. Raging. What would make you absolutely raging?

Rory: A band eight for your IELTS.

Maria: No, a band eight is a good score.

Rory: A band five for your IELTS.

Maria: Yeah, if I did IELTS and they gave me four or five, no, I would I think I would be disappointed, what's going on, there was a mistake or something. No, rage is a very strong emotion so, and it destroys you. So dear listener, don't let anyone get you into rage. So rage is severe anger, violent anger. She was raging. She was very super angry. And yeah, you can say that my friend didn't like it at first. He was raging about it. But then...

Rory: But he got over it.

Maria: Yeah, they got over it. They kind of lived through it. And it turned out well. Everything went well in the end. It made sense to explain things at first. So I explained things why it's important in a calm, logical, and rational way. So you explain things rationally, logically. Rationally, using your...

Rory: Using your higher order thinking skills to explain why something is a good idea.

Maria: Using your clear thought rather than emotions. If you do something rationally, you base your behavior on reason and thoughts, clear thoughts, not emotions. People should behave rationally, not emotionally sometimes. Right, dear listener. Thank you very much for listening. Hopefully, you can steal Rory's story and use different synonyms for encourage.

Rory: And we'll get back to you in part three, when we talk about encouraging and encouragement in general.

Maria: Bye.

Rory: Bye.