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πŸ“˜ Part 3: Making friends

Rory reveals his Band 9 structure for when you're not an expert and shares some brutally honest ways to describe people, like calling them "terminally boring." Are your conversations ever this off-putting?

Maria & Rory

Β· 18 min read

This episode’s vocabulary

To foster

verb β€” to encourage the development or growth of ideas or feelings.

Genuine

adj. β€” if something is genuine, it is real and exactly what it appears to be.

Jumping-off point

noun β€” an idea, example, or piece of information that is used to begin a process or activity.

Terminally

adverb β€” if someone or something is terminally stupid, boring, etc., they are extremely stupid, boring, etc. and that will not change.

Off-putting

adj. β€” slightly unpleasant or worrying so that you do not want to get involved in any way.

Novel

adj. β€” new and original, not like anything seen before.

Locality

noun β€” a particular area.

Inclination

noun β€” a feeling that you want to do a particular thing, or the fact that you prefer or are more likely to do a particular thing.

Prerogative

noun β€” something that certain people are able or allowed to do or have, but is not possible or allowed for everyone.

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πŸ“˜ Part 3: Making friends
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Questions and answers

Maria

Rory makes some noise for us.

Rory

Oh, can I not make some friends for you? Sorry.

Maria

Funny, funny.

Rory

I know that people come here for quality puns.

Maria

Make noise, make friends. Okay. How and where do people in your country make friends these days?

Rory

The same places they always have, I imagine. Plus a few more modern ones. I mean, people meet at school and work like in other places. And now we have online forums and communities which also seem to foster people's friendships. I suppose, people also meet and make friends on nights out in bars and clubs as well.

Maria

What places are popular for meeting friends in your area?

Rory

You mean aside from those I just mentioned? I'm not really sure to be honest. Maybe the park, the university and large events hosted by various businesses and other organizations? I'm not an expert, though since to be honest, I haven't made a genuine connection with a new person in a long time. But if I were to guess it would be those places.

Maria

Would you only make friends with people who are similar to you?

Rory

Well, most friendships are formed between people who have at least one or two things in common. Otherwise, what's the point? I mean, having said that, I think I'm quite radically different from all my friends. But that's by design, because I like being surrounded by people who see the world differently, and then having really long discussions about that. But by and large, however, I would say that most people prefer to be around those who are similar for the, well, for the sake of harmony, if nothing else.

Maria

Is it important to have the same interests and hobbies when making friends?

Rory

Well, most of the time, yes. I mean, like I said, you need to have something to talk about that you both understand and care about. And that's easy, or sorry, an easy jumping-off point in conversations with new people. I mean, they might not know you so well, it doesn't mean that you need to know a lot. But it helps. Feeling that, just being curious about different subjects might be enough to get started though. I think most people will opt for the easy way out, though.

Maria

What kind of new people do people like to meet?

Rory

Oh, I think that comes down to what the individual is like, really. I mean, for example, most people don't like meeting people who complain all the time or who are terminally boring. That's rather off-putting. Most people probably enjoy meeting people who are engaging with people and involving them in the conversation and inspiring you to participate. To be honest, though, like one person can't carry that off by themselves, can they?

Maria

Do people in your country like making new friends?

Rory

I used to think people were pretty open to the idea of new friends and novel experiences. But as time goes by, I'm becoming less convinced about that. I'm actually quite worried our society is becoming sort of increasingly atomized and people are becoming more isolated and surrounded by unfamiliar concepts. And well, other people. It seems many people are naturally conservative and like to stick to their own locality, both mentally and physically. And I suppose that's true everywhere, though, not just in my country.

Maria

And why do you think some people dislike making new friends?

Rory

Well, like I say, people are quite naturally conservative, so they just don't have this inclination to escape their comfort zone or to get out of their comfort zone and, and make new connections. That's their prerogative, though.

Maria

Do you think old friends are more important to the old generation or to the young generation?

Rory

Well, they're probably important to both but for sort of reasonably different reasons. Young people benefit from having old friends like while they're growing up, because that provides some sense of continuity and stability, while older people are more set in their ways and they can draw on this as a source of support and comfort as they get older. But those two are very similar. And I think it's of equal importance to both categories of people.

Maria

Thank you Rory for your nice answers!

Rory

Hopefully they were delivered in a friendly manner. Ho-ho-ho. -

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