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πŸ“˜ Part 3: Visiting others

Is it rude to show up empty-handed? Rory discusses the unwritten rules of being a guest, from housewarming parties to whether your host actually has to feed you. A must-listen before your next social gathering!

Maria & Rory

Β· 18 min read

This episode’s vocabulary

Sociable

adj. β€” sociable people like to meet and spend time with other people.

To hang out

phrasal verb β€” to spend a lot of time in a place or with someone.

To arrange

verb β€” to plan, prepare for, or organize something.

Obligatory

adj. β€” if something is obligatory, you must do it because of a rule or law, etc.

To socialize

noun β€” to spend time when you are not working with friends or with other people in order to enjoy yourself.

Houseproud

adj. β€” very worried about your house being completely clean and tidy, and spending a lot of time making it so.

To accommodate

verb β€” to provide with a place to live or to be stored in.

To cater

ver β€” to provide, and sometimes serve, food.

Bonds

noun β€” a close connection joining two or more people.

Commonplace

adj. β€” happening often or often seen or experienced and so not considered to be special.

Housewarming

noun β€” a party that you give when you move into a new house.

To host

verb β€” to provide the space and other things necessary for a special event.

Parlour games

verb β€” a game played inside a house, usually involving words or acting.

Hospitable

adj. β€” friendly and welcoming to guests and visitors.

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πŸ“˜ Part 3: Visiting others
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Questions and answers

Maria

Do people in your country often invite others to their homes?

Rory

I mean, how often is often? It depends on so much, like where you live and how far away your friends are and how sociable you are. Generally, though, I'd say they probably do since I often see pictures of people hanging out with each other in various other homes. So some people must be throwing these parties. I think people here are pretty sociable, and they have large friendship groups. So it makes sense they all want to mix and see each other.

Maria

What do you think of serving food to visitors?

Rory

It's nice to have... And if you arrange to have people over for a meal, then it's pretty much obligatory. But outside of this, I don't think it's fair to expect people to provide you with food, let alone serve it to you. You have a cost of living crisis now, and not everyone has the sort of money to throw around on things like that... Not to mention the energy of making food.

Maria

What kind of people do you think are more likely to invite others to their homes?

Rory

Other than the ones who like socializing with people? Good question. I suppose if you have lots of friends, and are particularly houseproud, with the resources to accommodate everyone and cater to them, then you might be better placed to have people around.

Maria

Who is more likely to invite others to their homes, people in the countryside or people in the city?

Rory

Well, I was thinking about that there, actually. I mean, at first, it makes sense to say you would be more likely to have people in your home if you're in a city because there are loads more people and so more opportunities to have larger social networks and gatherings. But now I think about it in more depth, social bonds and traditions are more important in the countryside where there are fewer resources and people rely on each other more.

Maria

What traditions are there when visiting other people's homes?

Rory

In my country? I don't think there are many really. It's pretty commonplace to bring "Thank you" presents, but there are no set rules about what to bring. The one exception might be if it's for something like a housewarming, and you want to get someone something useful for their home. But that is very broad. And I don't think there are traditions governing that.

Maria

Do people usually bring a gift?

Rory

Like I said, it's a common thing to take something the first time you head over to someone's place, but after that, you usually just bring things for yourself, like maybe a bottle of wine or something like that for the host. Unless of course, it's a birthday. But that's the nature of the celebration and not connected to visiting someone per se.

Maria

How do people entertain friends at their home?

Rory

In all kinds of ways. They share stories and watch things on TV together. Some people host dinner parties and play parlour games as well. I think they're making something of a comeback in my country at least, but yeah, the sky is pretty much the limit in terms of what's possible, to be honest.

Maria

Are people more suitable now than in the past?

Rory

I mean, where? I imagined it shifts all the time. I would say in my country, at least people are probably more open than they were. Since there are lots more newcomers and people who need support and we'll hopefully return the favor one day. I imagine if you're living in a warzone people will be decidedly less hospitable.

Maria

Hey, thank you Rory for your answers!

Rory

No worries!

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