♻️ The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Struggling to describe a process? Maria breaks down a Band 9 model for making sugar, revealing the essential grammar and vocabulary for turning a confusing diagram into a high-scoring response. Let's get cooking!
The process details how the sugar cane plant is converted into sugar.
"A clear descriptive statement of the diagram, paraphrasing the original description and showing flexible use of lexis with no errors."
In the first stage, the plant is grown from a period of 1 year to one and a half. The mature plant is then harvested by manual or automated labor which uses farming machinery. Regardless of which process is used, after harvesting, the raw sugar cane plant is crushed into liquid.
"Here, we divided the process into two parts according to what happens to the sugar. In the first part, we describe everything before processing. Passive voice is used frequently to describe a process obviously handled or created by humans. Even where humans are not directly involved, the agent is clear, and specialist vocabulary to describe this is used (eg. automated labour)."
This liquid then goes through a purifying process using limestone as a filter. Once it has been filtered, it is then evaporated through the application of heat, a process which congeals the juice into syrup. The syrup is then separated into crystallized and non-crystallized sugar. In the final stage, the sugar crystals are dried and cooled in a specialised vat.
"This paragraph clearly refers back to what has been stated before, passive voice continues, and more advanced vocabulary is used. It is important to note that the word "congeal" is the only word taken from outside the context. All others are variations of common words or those presented in the actual text itself. Don't be afraid to alter the forms of the original words given as this shows flexibility in use."
Overall, the illustrated process of producing sugar has 7 stages and can be divided into two parts: those involving the collection of the raw materials and the stages containing elements of sugar refinement.
"A good closing statement referring to the diagram, how we have divided it, and the number of stages. All of these have a clear reference to what has gone before for a strong ending."