📕 Part 1: Morning time

Do you like to get up early in the morning?

Well, I would definitely say I'm an early riser. I get up at 5:30 every morning and the hopes of getting more done. And I certainly think it makes me more productive.

What's your morning routine?

Well, that depends on the day, but nothing terribly out of the ordinary. I mean, on the average weekday, if we're talking about the average weekday, then I get up, I work out, and I study languages for a few minutes, fire off some emails and then get stuck in with the main parts of the day.

Do you like mornings or evenings?

Well, even though I still do things in the evenings, I feel like I get more done in the mornings. I have no way of proving that. It's just a feeling that I have. Well, that and I'm more energetic in the mornings. Although I suppose that's a feeling too, isn't it?

Is breakfast important for you?

It didn't used to be, but it's a big part of my start to the day now, since I don't think I could function without my coffee or shake, to be honest with you.

Is there any difference between what you do in the morning now and what you did in the past?

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I get up earlier, I actually have breakfast now. And I do exercise in the morning. So I think altogether, I'm much more active than I used to be for sure.

Thank you, Rory, for your answers! We've just woken up. Oof... We're all now fresh from all this vocabulary and grammar.

Your voice just went really hoarse there. I feel so fresh. -

Rory, you told us you are an early riser. So I am a morning person. I am an early riser. You can also say I am a lark. Can you say I'm a lark?

If you lived in the 18th century, then you could.

Because like morning people they used to be larks. But evening people they are a night owl. Can I say like, oh, I'm not a morning person, I'm a night owl?

You could. It's just really cliche.

Cliche. Alright. So you can say I'm not a morning person. I'm an early riser. And a very good phrase to say I usually get things done. So I get a lot of things done in the mornings, so I'm more productive, I produce things. So our Rory produces things at freaking 5:30 In the morning. Oh, my God... You haven't stopped doing this, right? So still 5:30?

Still 5:30. Although I stay in bed for a little bit longer. So it's like wake up at 530 and then switch on the heating, and then go back to bed and wait for the heat to rise. Then I can function.

Painful, dear listener, it's a painful morning.

It's not a painful morning, it's fine. It's just you need to get used to it. That's all. You have to really, really want to do it. And if you don't really want to do it, then do not do it.

So do you lie in your bed or you lay in your bed/

I lie in my bed.

Lie in my bed. Okay? For some time.

Although in the past, I lay in my bed for some time. Oh, I was gonna say, just looking at it here, I talk about getting more done. And usually, when we talk about getting things done, that's by someone else for us. But when I say I get more done, or I feel like I'm getting more done or in the hopes of getting more done, and we talk about the morning, then we're talking about ourselves doing more things. So it's like you're treating yourself as someone who is working for you. Whoa, grammar for a high score.

Morning routine. So we develop our morning routine. Or we set our morning routine. And Rory told us like nothing really out of the ordinary.

Yes. I'd like to think that most people don't do anything out of the ordinary for their morning routine. I mean, this is the time when you usually wake up and become active for the day. And normally that's a very logical process. There's very few people, you know, like one day on Monday I jump out of bed and set myself on fire, on Tuesday I jump into a pit of bats. And then on Wednesday, I wake up and I drink a litre of petrol and then and then I go for a run. Like no, you would have a pretty normal morning routine. Nothing out of the ordinary to start your day and then you begin the unusual things. No?

Yeah, yeah. Or some mornings could be quite unusual. Maybe the first of January or...

Yeah, I think the 1 of January, waking up then is quite unusual for everybody. Nobody wakes up on the morning of the first of January, everybody wakes up in the afternoon, and everyone is hungover. And if you say that you are not, then you're probably the person who was working in the bar enabling everyone else to become hungover.

What did you mean when you say fire off some emails? Fire, like fire off.

I talked about fire there. But when I'm talking about firing emails, like typing very fast, and then send and then again, and so it's just like a really quick list of things to be done. Sorry, very quick way of doing things I should say.

So I wake up, I work out, I fire off some emails. And usually, people will just grab their phones, they start scrolling through their Instagram accounts. Yeah? No, don't do it. No, no, no, you should wake up. You should be, you know, like, grateful to your body. Then you take deep breaths. You think about Rory, think about me. Or should I get this premium podcast? Oh, by the way, we have Christmas sales. So this is what you should be thinking about. Right in the morning, early in the morning. Okay? Good for you. Christmas sales. The link is in the description.

Yes, you should be thinking about capitalism early in the morning. I do. Although, getting back to the whole social media thing. It's really bad for you to do that. Because you just sit in bed and then you look at social media, and then you never get out of bed. And it's not a very productive use of time. Although, I do actually check my social media in the morning. It's when I'm working out when I do my planks. I sit there and answer messages while I'm planking. So if anyone's ever gotten a reply from me at 5:45 in the morning, just know that I'm sitting there like rigidly on the floor, trying to do a plank and answer your message at the same time, which is why there might be some spelling mistakes because it's very difficult to do. And I don't recommend people do that.

Rory's a multitasker.

No, it's not good. Like it's probably ruined the poster in my bag. But I still can't help myself because I don't have time.

So we can say that I prefer mornings. I feel like I get more done in the morning than in the evening. And then I'm more energetic and more productive in the morning than evenings. But also, dear listener, if you're not a morning person like me, because I kind of, really, I can't do it. I've tried many times. But seriously, I'm just not... Can you say that I'm not wired to get up in the morning? I'm not kind of wired towards mornings.

Yeah, or I'm not made for mornings. I'm not made for this experience.

I'm not made for mornings. Yeah, like I don't know, maybe it's genes, not jeans that you wear jeans, but genes from your parents and grandparents. You can say that I experience lower cognitive and physical performance in the morning, which means that you're like... Like a zombie. Morning coffee doesn't help. I've got some jokes about coffee. Rory, are you ready? Dad jokes or Christmas cracker jokes.

I like how you didn't wait. Are you ready? No. Let's do it.

So coffee. How does coffee help us in the morning? It makes us "coffeedent". Did you get that?

I'm not "coffeedent" that I'll be making it to the end of the episode, to be honest with you.

So, the coffee usually helps us in the morning. How? It makes us "coffeedent". Sounds like confident. "Coffeedent" - confident. Coffee makes us "coffeedent" in the morning. Oh, come on. It's fine. No, it's funny. It's a pun, it's a pun. Right. Okay. All right. Another one. Another one.

No, no, no.

How do you feel every day before you get your morning coffee?

It depends. Am I getting it from you? Because if it's coming with puns, then I'm not gonna feel very "coffeedent".

Rory, you're not supposed to answer the question.

Well, that's rude.

It's a rhetorical question. So yeah, just butting in.

It's a rhetorical question, so you have to sit there and take it.

Yes, exactly. You are ruining the joke, which is already horrible.

Oh, I think you're already doing a great job of that yourself.

So how do you feel every morning before you get your morning coffee? "Depresso". "Depresso". Okay? Espresso - "depresso".

You're jokes are making me "depresso".

All right. There you go.

Oh, don't you hate it when people say like when they order espresso and they say "expresso"?

Yeah, "expresso", yeah, like "expresso".

Everybody does that and I'm just sitting there listening to them like, that's not how you say that word.

Espresso. Espresso. So I usually have an espresso not "expresso".

Our Italian listeners who... I think that word is from Italy anyway, you're welcome.

Breakfast, you can say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I usually have a substantial breakfast. Substantial, you know, like a proper English breakfast, like this...

God, every day?

No, no, every day would be crazy, right?

Yeah.

But you said that it's the start to the day, right? Breakfast is your start to the day. Yeah? And then I can't function without my morning coffee. And then you go ahead and crack a joke about coffee. Right in the exam. And then the examiner is gonna be like, what?

I can just imagine the examiner's face would be something similar to mine. Sorry, I'm stretching while I'm recording. I shouldn't be doing that.

But Rory, what do you think, like if in the exam, so I take an IELTS speaking exam, right? Can I crack jokes? Can I say, oh, by the way, and speaking about coffee, I have this joke for you.

No, you can't just sit there and say, I know that we're here to do an exam or to have an exam. But I'm going to tell you some jokes. You can't just say that.

Why not? Why not? If it's just in the moment, you know, like you remember a good joke, why not just tell a horrible dead joke?

Do you have any idea how stressful it is being an examiner for Cambridge or for IELTS? You're sitting there trying to keep track of everything and all of the times and stuff, and now you're being asked to sit there and be subjected to someone's jokes? No, like, make one in the middle of when you're talking but not as part of the exam. If only it was part of the exam. But no, do not do that. It's very stressful being an examiner.

Oh, yeah. Poor examiners. If you are an examiner, and you're listening to this, we're very sorry. Yeah, we do respect you. And you are doing a wonderful job. Keep it up. Okay? Write to me. And I'll give you some more jokes. In the written form or maybe I can record it.

Good luck.

When we talk about the difference between the past and now, used to is your expression, right? I used to be a morning person, I didn't used to do exercise, right? So please make sure you use this used to expression. And now Rory is much more active. So you can say now I'm much more active in the morning, or I'm much more active in the evening. Yeah?

I'm not being very active right now. But I am. I was. This is a Saturday. I woke up at seven o'clock in the morning. No, I woke up at half past six o'clock in the morning to be ready for this. Does it show?

You're crazy. You are like falt out of your mind crazy with this 5:30 routine.

I had to call my friends and reorganize my driving lesson because I'm snowed in right now.

You are what? Snowden?

Oh, my God, yeah. At the time we're recording this podcast, Scotland is currently being subjected to what's called a yellow weather alert for snow. And that means that there's lots of traffic and travel disruption caused by large amount of snowfall. So this means that I am currently cut off from the rest of the world isolated in the middle of nowhere because the roads don't work now.

So at least now you're admitting that you are in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, so you can say that I'm...

I always told you I was in the middle of nowhere.

No, I told you you're in the middle of nowhere. And you were like no, it's a big city or whatever.

No, I didn't say that. I said that for like Dundee. Dundee is not in the middle of nowhere but Aberlour is definitely in the middle of nowhere. Sorry if you're from Aberlour by the way. It is in the middle of nowhere.

So if you say I'm snowed under at the moment, it means I'm very busy, right? Or you can say like I'm usually snowed under in the morning because it's the busiest time of the day. But Rory you said I'm snowed in.

Yes.

Snowed in like literally there's a lot of snow in Scotland and you have these mountains of snow. Okay. Right, dear listener, how are you doing? Are you a morning person? Are you an early riser or you're like me, who prefers afternoons? Or who is a morning person in the afternoon? Could you please write in the comments below? Let us know. And also please comment on Rory's habit, routine of getting up at freaking 5:30 in the morning. Do you still have tuna for breakfast?

I have... Not for breakfast. No.

That you microwave. Tuna that you cook in the microwave.

Look... Let me set up my diet for you. Just so that we can get all of this out of the way right now, right?

Yes, let's go.

Protein shake with coffee in the morning. For lunch, there was a wrap and chicken, and then for dinner, yes, I have eggs and tuna and cheese in a microwave. It sounds disgusting. It's nice. It is helping me. I don't criticize your diet, your diet of cigarettes and vodka.

Where does this come from?

Comes from too many nights out with you.

It was tequila, not vodka.

Oh, right. Okay, that's the biggest problem there. Is it?

Yeah. So we're not discussing our alcohol habits. It's just we drink juice. Sometimes it's just too much juice. Right. Thank you very much, dear listener, for going through this with us, for enduring dad jokes! And remember, when you understand English jokes, this means that your English level is what? High in the sky. Yes, it means that you've got a very good level of English and you can understand jokes, even our horrible jokes. Thank you very much! Do check out our Christmas sales! That's a very good deal! The link is in the description!

Please check out the Christmas sales because I wrote the copy for that and I would like to get some feedback about how engaging it is.

Bye!

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