📘 Part 3: Relaxing

This episode's vocabulary

To tend (verb) - to be likely to behave in a particular way or have a particular characteristic.

Life admin (noun) - personal day-to-day chores that are of an administrative nature, this includes tasks such as personal banking, making appointments, paying your bills, responding to personal emails.

Remotely (adverb) - work mainly from home.

Decompression (noun) - the process of relaxing.

To vary (verb) - to change in some way, or to cause similar things to differ.

Patio (noun) - an area outside a house with a solid floor but no roof, used in good weather for relaxing.

Connectedness (noun) - the state of being connected and having a close relationship with other things or people.

Well-to-do (adj.) - rich.

To trigger (verb) - to cause a strong emotional reaction of fear, shock, anger, or worry in someone.

Peacefulness (noun) - a state of being quiet and calm.

To fit the bill (idiom) - to be suitable.

To take someone's mind off something (idiom) - to stop you from worrying or thinking about a problem or pain.

To build (someone/something) up (ph. verb) - to increase or become larger or stronger, or to cause someone or something to do this.

Excessive (adj.) - too much or too many.

Mindfulness (noun) - the practice of being aware of your body, mind, and feelings in the present moment, thought to create a feeling of calm.

Well-being (noun) - the state of feeling healthy and happy.

Circumstance (noun) - a fact or event that makes a situation the way it is.

Sedentary (adj.) - involving little exercise or physical activity.

Priority (noun) - something that is very important and must be dealt with before other things.

Let your hair down (idiom) - to allow yourself to behave much more freely than usual and enjoy yourself.

To recharge your batteries - to rest so that you can get your energy back.

Burnout (noun) - the state of having no energy or enthusiasm because of working too hard, or someone who shows the effects of this state.

Exhaustion (noun) - the state of being extremely tired.

Deleterious (adj.) - harmful.

Bound (adj.) - certain or extremely likely to happen.

To wear someone out (ph. verb) - to make someone extremely tired.

Till/until the cows come home (idiom) - for a very long time.

Underlying (adj.) - real but not immediately obvious.

Fast-paced (adj.) - happening very quickly.

Interconnected (adj.) - with different parts or things connected or related to each other.

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Questions and Answers

M: Where do people spend most of their time in their home?

R: I suppose, traditionally, people have tended to spend most of their time in the living room, bedroom or kitchen areas of their home. Since, they spend about a third of their day asleep and then, well, another third at work and a further third at home doing life admin. It just seems to make sense that those would be the top three places. Probably even more so now that people are working remotely.

M: Where are good places for relaxation?

R: Well, good places for decompression certainly vary from person to person, but some common options might be bedrooms. We already talked about sleeping, which is usually quite relaxing. But they could also include outdoor spaces. Such as gardens or patios for that nature connectedness. Or if you're very well-to-do, quiet reading or meditation rooms.

M: Why do some people prefer to relax in public places like parks or cafes?

R: Well, we already mentioned nature connectedness, which is a response that spending time in and around nature can trigger. It's connected to the enjoyment, natural beauty and peacefulness of outdoor environment or the social aspect of being around others can bring. So parks and cafes would definitely fit the bill.

M: And do you think there should be classes for training young people and children how to relax?

R: Oh, absolutely. It can be a valuable life skill that can benefit them throughout their lives. People need to learn to take their mind off things that seem stressful for their overall mental and physical health as well as that of those around them. Otherwise, it could build up and be released in less productive ways, like excessive drinking.

M: Some people feel that keeping calm and staying relaxed is a skill that can be learned or improved. Would you agree with this?

R: Definitely. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing and mindfulness can help a lot with that. We live in a world with a lot of potential for stress and once people realise they can exercise some control over their reactions, well that could be beneficial on several levels.

M: And which is more important? Mental relaxation or physical relaxation?

R: Both are important and can have positive effects on overall well-being. But I suppose their importance might vary depending on the individual's needs and circumstances. I mean, let's say that you work in a sedentary profession, but you have a lot of mental heavy lifting to do. Like being an accountant. Then clearly mental relaxation would take priority.

M: What are some ways that busy people can relax?

R: Well, they could probably let their hair down by taking short breaks throughout the day, doing exercise, spending time in nature, like we said, and engaging in hobbies and other creative activities. I mean, all of this we already talked about.

M: And what can happen if people don't find time to relax?

R: I suppose if people don't recharge their batteries, they might experience burnout, anxiety, depression and, well, physical exhaustion. And that could be really deleterious to their health and that of their families, in the long run. Your body's like a machine. If you don't do any maintenance, then it's bound to wear out.

M: Why is it difficult for some people to relax?

R: Well, we could sit here all day and list the factors until the cows come home. But I suppose, the most common are probably high stress levels, high anxiety and the pressure to perform. As well as underlying mental health conditions. Like bipolar disorder or ADHD, where periods of frenetic activity are almost compulsive or they seem that way. It's not all bad, though. They might be in a flow state and unable to relax until they've done what they need to do in the state of flow.

M: Do you think that relaxing is easier now than it was in the past?

R: Well, technology and cultural attitudes towards relaxation have certainly changed over time. So drawing comparisons is pretty hard. Overall, though, modern societies, fast-paced and interconnected nature may make it more challenging for some people to find time to relax and disconnect from work and daily responsibilities. To do other things like hang out with friends or things that are connected to that that might help.

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Discussion

M: So, such an interesting, not interesting, like maybe a silly question, like where do people spend most of their time in their home? Well, they spend most of their time at home. Just at home, in the toilet.

R: They spend most of their time in the toilet. What?

M: No, I don't know. I'm just guessing. And Rory goes like, traditionally, people have tended. So over time, always people have tended to spend most of their time in the living room, bedroom and kitchen areas. So you played it in a smart way, you named three places, not just one place, huh, Rory?

R: Yes. But they didn't ask me to talk about one place.

M: Yeah, true. And we can use the present perfect, because usually, we say like, people tend to spend most of the time, but people have tended to spend. So people have always spent most of their time in the living room. Article, right? In the bedroom, in the kitchen. And Rory said, like in the living room, bedroom and kitchen areas. So bedroom and kitchen areas. Or it's just like kitchen areas? Areas refers to what?

R: Just the place or the space that they have for their kitchen. Or the space for their bedroom or the space for their living room. I mean, like a living room, it could be a living room or a living area. Because if you have a kitchen that joins your living room, then that's your living area.

M: Right. Living area, okay. Yeah, like if you have a studio, for example. And why? Why is that? Since or because people spend about a third of their day asleep. Oh, one-third of our day? That's distressing.

R: Well, ideally. If you think about it, you've got 24 hours in a day. So that's 8 hours asleep, 8 hours of working and 8 hours living, roughly.

M: Okay. 8 hours? Oh, yeah, alright, yeah. So a third of their day asleep. And usually, people sleep in their bedroom, right? Which can also be the living room, which could also be the kitchen area, right? And another third part of their day, people spend awake at work. So usually outside the home if they don't work at home. And the other third, they spend at home doing life admin. Rory, what does a life admin mean? Life admin.

R: Life admin.

M: In the morning, I usually do my life admin.

R: Yeah, but life admin is just things like doing your taxes or doing things that you need to do in order to have a place to live or to have a stable life.

M: Now, dear listener, you do know what to call it, life admin and you do your life admin. Is it do life admin or do your life admin?

R: Oh, both, do my life admin, do life admin, in general.

M: So when, dear listener, you organise your life, you plan something, you do your taxes and you pay for your internet, you are doing your life admin, okay? Such a fancy word. I usually do my life admin in the morning. Don't disturb me.

R: You've never heard this expression before?

M: No, no. I love it. It suits you so much. Because Rory is the master of doing his life admin. He's got this library of his special notebooks, where he puts all his plans and, you know, nitty-gritty details about his life.

R: I would like to point out this is built up over years. I don't have like separate notebooks that I use simultaneously. I have like one diary a year.

M: Yeah, yeah, one per year, one per year. So how many years?

R: I need to count, actually. I could probably turn my diaries into an art project.

M: Yes! Rory's museum of fine diaries!

R: The evolution of my diaries.

M: Ooh, yeah. And how many do you have? Like, maybe ten? Definitely. Maybe 15?

R: I don't know. I'm going to need to look at them, like, look them out and see, because...

M: Count, count, count them.

R: I can't count them now. They're in a different room. But I think I must have about a ten. Probably more than ten. But they're in various conditions and...

M: After the recording, go and count them and write the number to me. We'll discuss it in the next premium episode. Dear listener, are you excited? I'm excited. If you don't know anything about Rory's diary, I think we talked about your diaries somewhere in speaking part one. So Rory has a diary per year where he writes everything. Seriously. He writes down all his plans and all his life. It's just there, it's amazing. The level of organising things is just through the roof. That's why doing life admin suits Rory so much. Now you know. You're welcome, dear listener. Only for premium, super premium listeners. Good places for relaxation or good places for decompression. So when you decompress, you relax. And these places vary from person to person. So if you want to say that, okay, it depends on the person. You say that it varies from person to person. In this context, places vary, so they vary from person to person. But some common options, so common options, like, the most popular options, not variants here, okay, dear listener? Common options, choices. Might be bedrooms, where people usually sleep. Outdoor spaces such as gardens or patios. Patios are pretty much the same as gardens, right? They're kind of like, you know, like a cafe in a patio with some chairs, tables and coffees and gelatos. And then, dear listener, attention, attention. Gardens and patios for nature connectedness. Such a nice word, connectedness. Rory, what does it mean?

R: We talked about this before. Nature, connectedness. That's the phenomenon of being out in nature. And then you relax and you're more able to process your body and brain function better. From just being connected to nature. It's connected to improved immune responses and better health outcomes and better learning outcomes. It's good for you. Get out in nature. Touch grass nature connected.

M: And then you said, if you're very well-to-do. So, is if you're well-to-do, you are rich, right?

R: Well-to-do, well... Being rich is part of being well-to-do. But it's also to do with having aspirations and being middle class or wanting to be middle class.

M: Do we need this to do part? So I am well-to-do. Is it like a set phrase?

R: I wouldn't say that I'm well-to-do. You usually talk about people who are well-to-do or a well-to-do area.

M: Yeah, for example, like, well-to-do families, rich families. So it's an adjective.

R: Yes, most people don't say I'm well-to-do. Because, like, it's something that you assign to other people. If you assign it to yourself, it's like you're showing off.

M: Yeah... I'm all wealthy and rich.

R: I'm rich, I'm loaded. It's fine.

M: Yeah, you can also say, like, it's a well-to-do neighbourhood, for example. So an area where people live, well-to-do. And here if a person is well-to-do. So then quiet reading rooms, meditation rooms, like separate rooms for meditation are nice places for relaxation, okay? Because usually rich people have like their libraries at home or like a separate meditation room, yeah? Which is nice. Which everybody should have, actually.

R: Who has a meditation room? Seriously, if anyone who buys our premium podcast has a meditation room, please message me on Instagram and send me the pictures, because I would love to see what this actually looks like.

M: Yeah, a special room for meditation. And why do people prefer to relax in public places? Because it's strange, yeah? So a public place could be crowded, there are other people and there you are relaxing. Rory, again, mentioned nature connectedness. Due to this nature connectedness, people tend to go to parks or cafes outside, for example. So people enjoy spending time in and around nature. And also spending time in nature, around nature can trigger certain feelings, can trigger certain responses, right? So if something triggers other things, it what? It causes them, yeah?

R: Yes, it makes them happen.

M: It's connected to the enjoyment, enjoyment, relaxation and peacefulness. You see, so kind of we use nouns here. Nature, connectedness, peacefulness, enjoyment. Enjoyment of outdoor environments. And environments, here you've used it in the plural, why? Because in the environment it's usually singular.

R: Well, there are different kinds of environments, aren't there?

M: Yeah, in this context, yeah. Outdoor environments.

R: So what's the full sentence then?

M: It's connected to the enjoyment of natural beauty and peacefulness of outdoor environments.

R: Yeah. So there are different kinds of outdoor environments.

M: Classes for training people how to relax. What a nice idea. I think, it's kind of, these days people do have classes. Like meditation classes, yoga classes. Teach me how to relax. I can't relax. And this is a valuable life skill. So after you've done your life admin, you are trained to relax. And this is a valuable life skill, okay? You learn to take your mind off things. So you learn how to switch off. So if people don't do this, then the stress could build up. So the stress builds up inside the person and it could be released in less productive ways, yeah? So all this build-up stress could be released in less productive ways, like excessive drinking. So when a person drinks too much.

R: We wouldn't know anything about that.

M: No, no... And then staying relaxed. So when they teach you how to be relaxed, you stay relaxed. So you maintain this...

R: Feeling of being relaxed.

M: So kind of you stay like this. And this could be improved with practice and techniques such as meditation, deep breathing and mindfulness. It's this word that everybody uses these days. What about in Scotland? Do people go crazy about mindfulness, mindfulness?

R: Like mindfulness is a Buddhist concept which is basically being aware of your thoughts and making sure that they're not toxic or...

M: And also your body.

R: Yeah, so that's what... It's the Buddhist concept, but most people use it to mean taking care of your mental health. But those things are extremely different and we need to be very careful with that and sensitive to other people's religious beliefs, I suppose. But most people use mindfulness to mean taking care of your mental health. But if you're a Buddhist and you talk about mindfulness, you mean actively watching your thoughts and your body and what's happening there.

M: Yeah, yeah. A good question about what's more important, mental relaxation or physical relaxation? Both are important, right? Both of them. You can't relax your body. Your mind will not be relaxed. Yeah? You can't relax your mind, you can't relax your body. It's like they're interconnected, yeah? And then mental relaxation, physical relaxation can have positive effects on your overall well-being, right? So we talk about our mental health and our well-being. And then, Rory gave us an example. You can start the example by saying, let's say you work in a very sedentary profession. A sedentary profession is what?

R: When you do a lot of sitting down.

M: Yeah, like you are a driver or you are an office worker. You have to sit down a lot, right?

R: You are a podcaster.

M: Mhm, yeah. Let's say you work in a very sedentary profession, but have a lot of mental heavy lifting to do. So if you have a lot of mental heavy lifting to do, what is it?

R: Well, mental heavy lifting would be like, you have a lot of thinking to do.

M: Like being an accountant. An accountant is a job like a sedentary profession. They usually work sitting down and they do a lot of things in their head, right? So a lot of mental thinking.

R: Yeah.

M: And here you've used an idiom. Let your hair down.

R: I know. I really wanted because they're talking about relaxations. I was like, ooh, let your hair down. Now, I would point out that I'm being very, very liberal with let your hair down here. Because let your hair down means to like, you know, stop being so strict and have a wild time. But I'm using it to refer to short breaks.

M: Yeah. So like, how can people relax? So people could let their hair down by taking short breaks throughout the day. Could you give us another sentence with let your hair down about relaxation.

R: Sure. Well, the question could be like, do people need to relax more? And you'd be like, yeah, if people let their hair down more often, then they would be happier.

M: So take short breaks during the day, do exercise, spending time in nature and engage in hobbies. So we engage in activities you like. Engage in creative activities, just like do creative activities. So these are how busy people can relax. And what if they don't have time to relax? Or they can't find time to relax? Just people in general. And then Rory uses another one. Recharge your batteries. Rest or relax for a period of time, so that you feel energetic again. If people don't find time to relax. So if they don't recharge their batteries and we change the idiom, like, recharge my batteries, recharge his batteries, recharge their batteries, people's batteries. What can happen? People might experience burnout, anxiety, depression and physical exhaustion. Exhaustion? When you're... A person is physically really tired, right? So burnout, I think, well, kind of this burnout is the same as mindfulness. Like everybody's like mindfulness, burnout, burnout, mindfulness. Mindfulness, burnout. Stress. Stress. Stress. And these things could do what to people's health? They could be really what?

R: Oh, deleterious.

M: Deleterious. Oh... Deleterious. What's that?

R: I love the word deleterious.

M: It's formal, it's a formal word. Deleterious. Oh, my God. Harmful. For example, these drugs have deleterious effects on the nervous system. Deleterious. Give us another example with deleterious.

R: Oh, God. Excessive workload could be deleterious to your mental health.

M: Wow. Band nine word. You see, dear listener, so in speaking part three, we can use informal idioms. For example, let your hair down, recharge your batteries. These are informal, but then we can throw in this deleterious to their health. Yeah. And that's going to be fine, yeah? The body's like a machine, okay? It's a quote. The body is like a machine, like a mechanism. And if you don't do any maintenance. Maintenance, you take care of your body, you take care of the machine. It's bound to wear out. Wow, an amazing sentence. Dear listener, you can just write it down, learn it by heart and just tell the examiner. An amazing sentence. What does it mean, it's bound to do something?

R: Well, it's like 100% certain that something is going to happen.

M: Yeah. So if a person doesn't relax, this person is bound to burn out. Wear out? Things usually wear out if you don't care for them, if you don't keep them in good condition or if they're just old.

R: That sounded so brutal. If they're just old and worthless.

M: Yeah. So mechanisms, machines, devices tend to wear out. And our bodies tend to wear out.

R: They do. I mean, mostly it's different body parts that wear out. Like you... If you walk around a lot, you might wear out your knees. Or if you're old, you could be all worn out.

M: And another idiom from Rory "until the cows come home".

R: I know I'm probably going to get stuck for that as well, aren't I? Because that's an old one too. But like, really, we could sit and like, discuss all the factors until the cows come home. Because it would take forever to talk about why people feel stressed or why they find it difficult to relax. Some people just are very difficult and they can only relax when they're working hard, when they're not actually relaxed.

M: Yeah, yeah.

R: I used to be one of those people and then I got better.

M: Yeah, well done, you. And the common reasons are high-stress levels, high anxiety, pressure to perform well. So perform to do things well at work. And also some underlying mental health conditions. So if a person has serious mental conditions, like bipolar disorder or ADHD. What does it mean?

R: ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. To oversimplify, it is a coping mechanism whereby if you do not get attention to something, then you behave in a very hyperactive way.

M: When you compare the past to now, it's a good idea to use present perfect. So something has changed. Here Rory told us technology and cultural attitudes towards relaxation have changed over time, yeah? So now it's kind of, it's difficult to compare now to the past, but like overall modern societies, fast-paced nature, we make it more challenging for people to relax. And it's more difficult to disconnect from work. We are always on, we are always kind of connected to our work, even when we are on holiday. And it's more difficult to disconnect from daily responsibilities, from your life admin. So life admin, to do life admin is the keyword in this episode, dear listener, yeah? Sweet. Rory, how relaxed are you now from 1 to 10?

R: I'm super chilled out.

M: You're chilled out, so you're zero, yeah?

R: I'm one. I might be -27. I'm so chill.

M: Okay.

R: I love my job. I love my life. It's just so chilled out right now. Ask me again tomorrow when I have to take the train back home.

M: Oh, a Scottish train. Good luck! Enjoy it!

R: Oh, God. Good luck, indeed. Well, no, I'm being mean. The trains are running very well, nowadays.

M: Great. So, dear listener, we are sending you relaxation vibes, okay? So chill out, relax, decompress, unwind with our voices. If you haven't seen our YouTube videos, people told us that they do help people to relax and just unwind, so, yeah. You can look at us in our YouTube videos. Thank you so much for listening! Good luck with your vocabulary. Bye!

R: Bye!

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