📘 Part 3: Friendship and social relationships

This episode's vocabulary

Keep in touch with (phrasal verb) – to maintain contact with someone. → It's important to keep in touch with friends who move to other cities.

Sense of obligation (noun phrase) – a feeling that you must do something because it is your duty. → He visits his relatives out of a sense of obligation, not because he enjoys it.

Rock the boat (idiom) – to do or say something that will upset people or cause problems. → During the tense negotiations, everyone was careful not to rock the boat.

Cut someone loose (phrasal verb) – to stop having a personal or professional relationship with someone. → After years of unreliability, the company decided to cut him loose.

Indispensable (adjective) – absolutely necessary; essential. → For many people in remote jobs, a reliable internet connection is indispensable.

Seek someone out (phrasal verb) – to look for and find someone or something. → When children move to a new school, they naturally seek each other out to make new friends.

Socially isolated (adjective phrase) – having minimal contact with other people. → The pandemic left many elderly people feeling socially isolated.

Grounded (adjective) – sensible and reasonable; having a good understanding of what is important in life. → Despite his fame, he remained a grounded and humble person.

Touch base with (idiom) – to talk to someone for a short time to find out how they are or what they think about something. → Technology allows me to touch base with my international colleagues instantly.

At the touch of a button (idiom) – very quickly and easily, typically by using a machine or computer. → You can order almost anything you want online at the touch of a button.

Readily available (adjective phrase) – easy to obtain or use. → Because online communication is so readily available, some people take it for granted.

Double-edged sword (idiom) – something that has or can have both favorable and unfavorable consequences. → Social media is a double-edged sword; it connects us but can also lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Questions and Answers

Maria: Why do people keep in touch with their friends from childhood?

Rory: I imagine because they like their company and want to keep good people in their lives. There might also be some kind of sense of obligation as well, maybe.

Maria: Could you explain it further?

Rory: Yeah, you might have grown apart in terms of your interests or other things you once had in common, but you might stay in contact just to keep the peace or maybe you don't want to rock the boat by cutting them loose.

Maria: How important is childhood friendship to children?

Rory: It's indispensable, I'd say. Children benefit a great deal psychologically from it and, well, probably physiologically too, since they have people they can have a good time with and learn from and they can go out and grow up together.

Maria: And what evidence do you have for that?

Rory: Well, I can't see any other reason why children might seek each other out. Can you? You can't just be a self-contained unit your entire life. There has to be some connection to give life meaning, or at least keep things interesting, or help keep them interesting.

Maria: Do you think online social media will replace face-to-face communication?

Rory: It might for some very isolated people like hikikomori in Japan. They've been so socially isolated that it's pretty much all they have. And it could be beneficial if some people really struggle, but I doubt it will completely replace seeing people in person for the vast majority. We seem to have almost evolved to seek it out and take comfort from that. So I don't think that will change anytime soon.

Maria: What's the difference between having younger friends and older friends?

Rory: Well that probably depends on your own character, I'd imagine, but very broadly speaking, older friends would probably give more guidance and be more grounded, while you might find yourself being more, at least in the role or more of an older sibling role for your younger friends. That's assuming people behave in ways typical for their age, of course. The opposite could also be true.

Maria: Has that always been true?

Rory: Oh, definitely. People have always shown they're wildly different to each other in lots of different ways.

Maria: How has technology changed people's friendships?

Rory: Well, in some ways it's strengthened them because you can touch base with people all over the world at a touch of a button these days. So you don't have to wait ages for a reply. In other ways, though, it might have weakened them because something so readily available has less value for many people. So they might not appreciate what they have as much as when things were a bit slower and less instantaneous.

Maria: Do you think that will also be true in the future?

Rory: That's the nature of technology really. It's always been a bit of a double-edged sword.