This episode's vocabulary
Put a lot of effort into (something) (phrasal verb) – to work hard to achieve something. → Adults feel proud after they've achieved something they put a lot of effort into.
Exceed expectations (verb phrase) – to be much greater than anticipated. → Children feel proud when they exceed the expectations of the people around them.
Be bound to (do something) (phrasal verb) – to be very likely to do or feel a particular thing. → If you give children rewards for no reason, they're bound to become used to getting something for nothing.
Mindset (noun) – a person's way of thinking and their opinions. → Getting something for nothing isn't a great mindset for a child to have.
Reinforce (behavior) (verb) – to make a behavior or idea stronger. → It's a good way to reinforce good behavior and celebrate that something nice happened.
Low-income family (noun phrase) – a family that earns less than the average amount of money. → I doubt that a low-income family could afford much in terms of rewards.
Obnoxious (adjective) – very unpleasant or rude. → In some cultures, certain behaviors might be seen as amazing, while in others they could be seen as obnoxious.
Insightful (adjective) – showing a clear and deep understanding of a complicated problem or situation. → Parents might feel proud when their child asks a really insightful question.
Help out with (something) (phrasal verb) – to help someone, especially by doing a particular task. → Children can make their parents proud by helping out with the housework.
Model citizen (noun phrase) – a person seen as a perfect example of a good, law-abiding member of a society. → Parents are happy when their child is polite or a model citizen.
Commensurate with (adjective) – in a correct and suitable amount compared to something else. → A huge achievement deserves a huge reward that is commensurate with it.
Questions and Answers
Maria: On what occasions would adults be proud of themselves?
Rory: I suppose after they've achieved something they put a lot of effort into, like getting a promotion or a qualification that means they're able to do things or more things. So they can be more useful to people and, well, more useful to more people, or even just themselves.
Maria: And what about children, when are children proud of themselves?
Rory: You'd have to ask them. I suppose, probably when they meet the expectations or exceed the expectations of people around them and they're told that they did that. So that's pretty cool.
Maria: Is it good to reward children regularly?
Rory: Well, surely that depends on whether they earned it or not, doesn't it? I mean, if you just give kids rewards all the time for no reason, then they're bound to become used to just getting something for nothing, which isn't a great mindset to have, as it could make them selfish. But if they're working hard and being nice to others, then I don't see why not. That seems like a great idea.
Maria: Should parents reward children? And how?
Rory: Well, like I said, assuming it's something they worked for, why not? It's a good way not only to reinforce the behavior, but also to celebrate that something nice happened. As for how, well, again, that depends on what resources the parents have. I doubt that a low-income family could afford much, but they could definitely get something small to say thank you for doing something well.
Maria: For example, how exactly can parents reward their children?
Rory: It could be something like a toy or a sweet, even. Or if they have it, then it could be money, financial reward is always quite nice.
Maria: And what should parents reward their children for?
Rory: Well, at least for meeting their expectations and doing the right thing. That's quite important. Anything the parents want to see happen again should be rewarded, I think. Or at least qualifies for our award. Not everybody is rewarded for doing good things.
Maria: When would parents feel proud of their children?
Rory: Some things that kids do in one culture could be seen as amazing, while others might find it well, downright offensive or obnoxious. I suppose broadly speaking, it could be when they work hard and achieve something they wouldn't normally have done or that might not be expected for the majority of kids, like winning a competition or asking a really insightful question.
Maria: What do children usually do to make their parents proud?
Rory: Apart from what I said, all kinds of things: helping out with the housework, for example, that's usually something people are very happy with, or, being polite or a model citizen, so that other people compliment the parents on their work raising such a great child.
Maria: And what else can parents do to motivate their children to achieve better results?
Rory: Apart from what I said, I think those are the main ones. I mean, usually it's something that's going to motivate them to do things further. So the same things that will motivate adults should motivate kids, broadly speaking. Maybe it could be proportional to the amount of work that they put in. So, let's say it's a really big thing, like winning a competition or coming first out of all of the students taking a particular exam, then it could be a laptop, because that's a huge achievement. So a huge reward is commensurate with that.
Discussion
Maria: So when the examiner asks you on what occasions, occasions, like events, pretty much when. On what occasions would adults be proud of themselves, when are adults proud of themselves? And you say people are proud of themselves after they have achieved something. So they have reached their goals, they have achieved something. They put a lot of effort into something. So they try very hard to do something. They put a lot of effort into something. And then you can make some examples like getting a promotion, getting a qualification, graduating from university. And also people feel proud of themselves when they're able to do more things for other people. So when people help others, help other people, this usually makes them satisfied. And being proud is not negative. So you are kind of satisfied because you've done something. And again, people are proud that they've done something, or people are proud of themselves. You can also say to be pleased. People usually feel pleased because blah blah blah. People earn rewards.
Rory: That means they work to get it. Or put some kind of effort into get the reward.
Maria: Yeah. And a nice collocation, earn a reward. So when children really earn rewards, yes, then we can reward them. Here Rory uses a tag question to answer the question, firstly. So he says, "Surely that depends on whether they earned it or not, doesn't it?" Right? And the intonation goes down because it's not a question, it's a statement. So it's like C2 Band 9 level, dear listener.
Rory: Oh, is it?
Maria: Yeah, absolutely. Tag questions are fabulous. Yeah, they add variety to your pronunciation features. And also it's great grammar. So, use them correctly.
Maria: So do use them only if you want a nine, right? But because they are quite difficult. Rory, could you pronounce this sentence again? And, dear listener, please notice where Rory's intonation goes. It goes up or down.
Rory: Well, surely that depends on whether they earned it or not, doesn't it?
Maria: Yeah, there you go. You see? Doesn't it? So Rory doesn't ask a question, like, "Doesn't it? Doesn't it? Really? Huh?" No, it's like this. It's this. If you give children rewards all the time, it's not a good idea, right? So to give kids rewards all the time. Give rewards. So children earn rewards, and parents give rewards to children. And if parents give rewards all the time, children are bound to become used to getting something nice all the time, for nothing. Yeah? So to get used to doing something, to get used to getting presents, to start having a habit of getting presents. And it's not a good mindset. So it's not a good habit to have. It's not a good mental situation. It could make them selfish. Parents should reward children if kids worked hard. So parents can reinforce the good behavior. Reinforce meaning to encourage children to repeat the good behavior. For example, if a child cleaned the house, we give some money or some sweets or, I don't know, throw a party to reinforce the good behavior. The child remembers, "Aha, so I cleaned the house, I was rewarded. So I'll do it again next time to get the reward." It's typical psychology, basic psychology, like animals. Dogs. And how should parents reward their children? It depends on the resources the parents have. Here Rory means financial resources, maybe time, the time that parents have. Because spending time with your child could be a reward if parents are too busy with their work. A low-income family. So if you talk about poor families, you can come up with a synonym like a low-income family. Low-income families can't afford much.
Rory: Maybe.
Maria: So poor families can't afford many presents. In this case, saying "thank you" could be enough. Yeah, just saying "thank you," could be a reward. Doesn't mean that you have to give children money all the time, just saying "thank you," like praising children, saying nice words to them. Parents feel proud of their children when they achieve something, right? And again, here Rory uses a tag question. Rory, could you read it out, please?
Rory: Well, that's really dependent on the context, isn't it?
Maria: Yeah, isn't it? You see? So the intonation goes down. It's not like, "Isn't it? Isn't it?" You see, I'm asking you. But here Rory is stating that, yes, it depends on the context, because yes, that's true. I'm not asking you, the examiner, but I'm just using a C2 Band 9 super grammar and pronunciation. Yeah. So if children work hard, if they achieve something, parents usually feel proud. So if children have done something nice, present perfect. And then you can give some examples like winning a competition, asking an insightful question, getting a good mark at school. A good strategy is to use the phrase "apart from what I said," it's also this. So some questions might be close together, in terms of ideas, as if the examiner is asking you about something that you've already said. So in this case, instead of repeating what you've just said, you say, "Apart from what I said, children can also do something ta-da-da." Apart from what I said. So adding to what I have already told you, you can also say, "Like I said, ta-da-da." And children can help out with housework. So help parents with housework, help out with housework, or housework chores. Yeah, horrible activities around the house. Yeah, cleaning the house, washing the dishes. And children can be model citizens. So following the laws and everything. Right, dear listener. Thank you very much for listening. We'll get back to you in our next episode, okay? Stay with us. Love.
Rory: Hugs. For some more rewarding IELTS content.
Maria: Bye.
Rory: Bye.
