📕 Part 1: Relatives

This episode's vocabulary

Once, twice, etc. removed - used to refer to a cousin (= a relation) separated from you by one, two, etc. generations (= same family age groups).

Spread out (phrasal verb) - if people spread out, they move from being close together in a group to being in different places across a larger area.

Many moons ago - a long time ago.

Gathering (noun) - a party or a meeting when many people come together as a group.

Catch up (phrasal verb) - to learn or discuss the latest news.

Gossip (noun) - conversation or reports about other people's private lives that might be unkind, disapproving, or not true.

Distinguish (verb) - to notice or understand the difference between two things, or to make one person or thing seem different from another.

Hierarchy (noun) - a system in which people or things are arranged according to their importance.

Intertwined (adj.) - twisted together or closely connected so as to be difficult to separate.

Overexpose (verb) - to make someone or something experience something too much, or for too long, risking harm.

Eccentricity (noun) - state of being eccentric.

Eccentric (adj.) - strange or unusual, sometimes in a humorous way.

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Questions and Answers

M: Do you have many relatives?

R: I suppose, if we take into consideration all the numerous distant relatives and many cousins once or twice removed, then yeah. It seems like there are almost hundreds of us.

M: How often do you meet your relatives?

R: Probably not often enough these days. The last family gathering was at Christmas and that was online. And it was exhausting since we were spread out all over the place in different time zones. It was really hard for me to organize, actually.

M: When did you last see your relatives?

R: Um, do you mean face to face? I suppose... Oh God, that must have been many moons ago. Um, oh, actually, it was my 30th birthday. So we were all together, my cousins from my mom's side of the family were there and all of... Well, yeah, and all of the cousins and all of the my brothers as well, except for the one that lives in Australia, of course. And then in terms of online, that was that would be the Christmas gathering that I mentioned.

M: How do you spend time with your relatives?

R: Well, since we're hardly ever all together, it's usually spent catching up on the latest news and family gossip. My cousin and my uncle are pretty good with family trees and stuff for keeping track of all of that. So I usually talk to them to stay in the know about everything.

M: Are your relatives or friends more important to you?

R: Well, they probably have equal weight, I'd say. Most of my friends are physically closer to me, but my relatives are similar in terms of emotional proximity. I try not to distinguish between the two, since it's not like there's some sort of competitive hierarchy, which it isn't and it shouldn't be.

M: Are people in your country usually close with their relatives?

R: Um, I would say so. Even though families are usually big and intertwined with each other. Social media makes it easy to stay in touch. Um, and possibly it's too easy. And maybe we're all a little overexposed to people's eccentricity sometimes.

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Discussion

M: Rory, thank you so much for your answers. You are my distant relative, once removed.

R: Shall we talk about the related grammar and vocab?

M: Yeah. So we have an episode about families, so do check it out, OK? And this one is about relatives because in IELTS speaking part one they can ask you questions about relatives. By relatives we mean who exactly, Rory?

R: People who are connected to us by blood usually.

M: Yeah. So they are cousins and a cousin it's either he or she. We don't know. So have a cousin you have no idea it's boy or girl. So a cousin. Cousins then what? Aunts?

R: Cousins, aunts and uncles.

M: Uncle.

R: Great aunts, great uncles, grandparents.

M: Grandparents, right, grandmothers, grandfathers. Then nieces. A niece. Yeah, that's a she. Nephew. That's a he. Nephew. Also you mentioned cousins once or twice removed.

R: Yes.

M: Where do you remove them? What's removed?

R: Once or twice removed in the sense that they're from another generation past. I think it's how it's structured. Hold on a second. Let me just double check.

M: Anyway, dear listener, it's a really difficult thing to explain what it means. A cousin once or twice removed. But it's a great word. So if you have cousins or you don't have cousins, doesn't matter. Just say like, oh yeah, I have many relatives. I have aunts, uncles, cousins once or twice removed. Basically they are distant cousins that you have no idea who they are, who they live. Are they alive or dead?

R: Well, no, no. Well, you might know them well or you might not know them well, but if they're once removed, it's all to do with the generations. So, for example, my mom's first cousin, like they're the same from the same generation, but she is my cousin once removed because she's from the previous generation, for example. But I just call her my cousin because you don't refer to people like this in real life. This is only for describing things in greater detail.

M: Oh, hello cousin once removed. Yeah. So it's cool to say that. Yeah, I have a couple of cousins once or twice removed. Family gathering. So when you meet all your relatives it's a family gathering. Gathering like a meetup. You gather together for Christmas or what, just for fun?

R: Yeah. Family gatherings.

M: Yeah. My last family gathering was online for example, and Rory's relatives are spread all over the place. All over the world. They live in different countries. Do you have any relatives in Russia?

R: I do not have any relatives in Russia yet.

M: Bother. So when did you last see your relatives and you go, oh, many moons ago.

R: Yes, well, that's another way of saying a long time ago.

M: Really? Can you really say that?

R: You can say moons ago you. Yeah.

M: How about many suns ago?

R: No. It's always many moons ago. It's a fixed expression.

M: Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I saw my relatives many moons ago.

R: I last saw my relatives many moons ago.

M: I last saw my relatives many moons ago.

R: And you have the chance to use upward intonation for saying like, oh, well, you mean face to face.

M: Yeah.

R: Or, and you could say face to face or online. So you can extend your answer and use more complex grammar structures.

M: For a high score. Band nine score.

R: I say online would have been Christmas. So that's good, isn't it?

M: Oh God. This is the second part of the third conditional, Rory.

R: Is it?

M: Yes. Yes, it is.

R: But when we talk about our relatives, we can keep track of them using a family tree. And indeed the phrasal verb keep track.

R: But when we talk about our relatives, we can keep track of them using a family tree. And indeed the phrasal verb keep track.

M: Hmm. Keep track of your family tree. Right?

R: And you can stay in the know, which means that you know about things and you keep your knowledge up to date.

M: Oh yeah. When you meet your relatives, you usually catch up on the latest news and you catch up on the latest gossip. And gossip is unaccountable. OK? So gossip means when you gossip about people, when you talk about people behind their backs. For example, we together with Rory, we can gossip about Vanya. Oh, like Vanya, like is he married? Does he have children? So we can just talk about Vanya behind his back. It means gossiping. We can have gossip magazines. Right? And with relatives we usually gossip about each other. Right? Or gossip about other people.

R: We usually gossip about other people.

M: You gossip about other people. And you can't say a gossip, because gossip is a person. For example, I can say Rory, you are such a gossip. So a person who gossips around, yeah, so you catch up on the latest news with your relatives and gossip. Family or friends, they have equal weight.

R: That means you treat them the same way.

M: Yeah. And some friends are physically closer to us and some relatives or friends can be... They can be...

R: They are similar in terms of emotional proximity, which just means they're close to me in the way that we are emotionally close.

M: In terms of emotional proximity some relatives are closer to me. And the phrases to be close to your mother, to be close to your parents. But parents are not relatives, right?

R: Parents are your relatives.

M: Relatives?

R: They're related to you.

M: Hmm, but they are like close relatives. Right? OK. We can have a hierarchy in our family.

R: Yes. That just means one of the some of them are more important than others.

M: Yeah. We usually stay in touch with our relatives or we don't stay in touch. We stay out of touch.

R: We lose touch.

M: Oh, we lose touch. Right. You can lose touch. I lost touch with some of my cousins once removed. Intertwined.

R: Intertwined.

M: Intertwined. Oh.

R: That just means closely connected in a bit of a messy way.

M: Yeah. So how can we use it in a sentence? This intertwined bit.

R: My family's lives are intertwined because we all live so close together.

M: Yeah.

R: Well, as an example. Obviously in my family that's not true.

M: And the last word that you said was eccentricities.

R: Yes. Eccentricities are just a way of talking about. Well, actually, it's a euphemism for annoying aspects of what people are like.

M: Eccentricities.

R: Yeah.

M: Oh, his eccentricities meaning, oh, he's so weird.

R: We used the word eccentric to describe people who are crazy. It wasn't very politically correct.

M: No, but if you say eccentricity, it is political correct. No?

R: It's not really. It's like a byword for someone who's nuts are annoying.

M: People's eccentricities.

R: Well, it's like a polite way of saying someone's annoying, but it's so obvious what it is you're saying.

M: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, dear listener, now you know how to talk about distant relatives and you have a posh word of the day. A cousin once removed. And actually we crack jokes about this like cousins once removed or an uncle once removed. Yeah?

R: Mhm.

M: So give us something. Like he's some of my cousins once removed.

R: Something like three million times removed or something like that.

M: Three million times removed. Yeah. So when you say that or hear that, it means some person like a really distant relative.

R: I really don't understand what the relationship is. But there is one.

M: Yeah. Yeah. Like it was my wedding and I had some cousins 300 times removed. I have no idea they existed. Yeah. Thank you very much for listening. We are sending you hugs and kisses and now you can talk about your relatives with flair and high level words.

R: For a band nine score. Bye!

M: Bye!

R: Oh no.

M: No.

R: We had a pun to finish with.

M: What? Let's go.

R: I hope you found it relatively easy to listen to.

M: Oh...

R: Now you can go. Bye!

M: Bye!

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