📘 Part 3: Accommodation

This episode's vocabulary

Self-aware (adj.) - knowing and understanding yourself very well.

The wherewithal (noun) - something such as money or a particular quality that is necessary in order to get or achieve something.

To cope (verb) - to deal successfully with a difficult situation.

Hermit (noun) - a person who lives alone and apart from the rest of society, especially for religious reasons.

Solitary (adj.) - a solitary person or thing is the only person or thing in a place.

Existence (noun) - a particular way of life.

Reasonable (adj.) - based on or using good judgment and therefore fair and practical.

Oversight (noun) - responsibility for a job or activity and for making sure it is being done correctly.

Budgeting (noun) - the process of calculating how much money you must earn or save during a particular period of time, and of planning how you will spend it.

Destitute (adj.) - without money, food, a home, or possessions.

Disrepair (noun) - the state of being broken or old and needing to be repaired.

Sole (adj.) - being one only; single.

To defer (verb) - to delay something until a later time.

Gradually (adverb) - slowly over a period of time or a distance.

Progressively (adverb) - gradually.

Questions and Answers

M: Should young people live on their own?

R: Well as with everything, surely that depends on the context, doesn't it? I mean, if they're under 18, or unable to support themselves, then that's probably not a great idea. If they're reasonably independent and self-aware though, then it shouldn't be a big deal since they'll have at least some of the wherewithal to cope, if not all of it.

M: What kinds of people tend to live alone?

R: Hermits? Seriously, though, some people are a little unlucky in life and love and never find their other half. For others, it's an active choice and they're quite happy to live some sort of solitary existence since they're quite happy in their own company.

M: Why do young people move to their own accommodation?

R: I'd imagine to get out from the shadow of their parents and lead their own lives. Most parents are pretty reasonable when they have their children living with them. But there's a great deal more freedom of action to be had when you're away from home, as there's, well, less oversight, whether intended or not.

M: Besides cooking, are there any other skills that people need to learn if they live on their own?

R: Well, loads. They'll need to have decent financial management skills like budgeting so they don't go bankrupt and wind up destitute. They will also need to be reasonably organized so their home is in good order and doesn't fall into disrepair. That's just a couple of examples. But there are more.

M: Is it good for young people to live by themselves?

R: Eventually, yes, though, when that probably comes down to the individual circumstances. But it's important to be reasonably independent and make your own choices for your own mental health. If nothing else. If you're stuck at home all the time, you're likely to be less able to cope without that support, and it will disappear eventually. So it's important to prepare.

M: What's the difference between living alone and living with roommates?

R: Well, I'd imagine there are loads of them. But the big ones which stand out in my mind are the lack of shared responsibilities and bills if you live alone, then you've got sole responsibility for it all. You probably have more freedom of action to compensate as well, since you can decide what to do in your home without deferring to anyone else.

M: How can parents and teachers help young people to live independently?

R: I suppose by highlighting examples of how it's done well and providing opportunities to do it. For example, children can walk from home to school by themselves, and gradually exercise more control over other things like when and where to go out with friends with progressively less oversight. The same is true for things like doing homework, especially if you, as the young person, have full responsibility for it.

M: Thank you, Rory, so much for your answers!

R: Hooray! Hopefully, they were accommodating.

Discussion

M: As you know, dear listener, Rory is the expert on living on his own, because Rory usually lives on his own. He's a loner.

R: I just like my own space.

M: Yeah, like if a person is a loner, this person likes to do things on their own without other people. For example, like he was always a loner at school. So he was always alone. He didn't have many friends. With young people. Young people are not children. So we refer to people who are what? Like, maybe university students, or people right after university. And Rory told us like, if young people are under 18. If they're younger than 18, they're usually unable to support themselves financially. Yeah? So, if young people can't support themselves financially, then living on their own, living alone is not a good idea. But if they are reasonably independent, then it's okay. Could you explain this word to us? The wherewithal.

R: Oh, that's just another way of talking about stuff. Just the wherewithal is what you need to do something.

M: Why are you using these words, Rory? Band nine words.

R: Why am I using the band nine words? I think the answer is somewhere in your question. The wherewithal to do something, the wherewithal to cope the wherewithal to, I don't know, climb a mountain.

M: So the wherewithal. Oh, it's such a strange word. So something such as money, or a particular quality that is necessary to do something. For example, I'd like to buy a bigger house, but I don't have the wherewithal. How do you pronounce it?

R: Wherewithal.

M: Wherewithal. Yeah, could you give us another example, about this living alone?

R: Well, lots of young people nowadays don't have the wherewithal to buy their own home and furnish it, for example, because nobody's got any money.

M: Yeah, to furnish a flat, to buy furniture, to put furniture in the flat, so to furnish a flat. So some young people have at least some of the wherewithal to cope with living on their own, so they have some money or they have certain qualities to help them to do this. I know, it's crazy, isn't it? Wherewithal. So some people tend to live alone, or you can say they enjoy living on their own, or they are loners. Another synonym that Rory used, he didn't say, oh, like loners, you said what? Hermits.

R: Hermits. But hermits are just people that live by themselves away from society.

M: Yeah, so hermit's a person who lives alone, apart from the rest of society. So it's kind of like, what could be a synonym? Sometimes for religious reasons.

R: Reclusive.

M: Yeah, so it's not just people who prefer being alone. Because of religious reasons, they just stay away from everybody and just like move to a forest and live in a cave because of their religious beliefs, for example. And here Rory cracks a joke. Kind of like, oh, like hermits, like, like this, strange people who live somewhere, you know, away from the rest of the world. And then Rory goes, seriously though some people, blah, blah, blah. Okay? So it's okay to react to the question, make a joke, and then give a more serious answer. Okay? Rory, you talked about finding the other half. So according to some theory, like you should find your other half. But, dear listener, this is nonsense. You are complete, okay? You don't need other people to be happy. Dear listener, just, just you have everything you need to be happy.

R: Correction. You don't need other people except for this podcast. You definitely need this.

M: Yeah, well, obviously, yes. This podcast is just part of your happiness. Okay? But two halves are in you. Okay? So Rory, just I don't know why he said that. Don't pay attention to this.

R: Well, if you're... Like you asked me why some people live alone, and if you're unlucky in love, then you might live by yourself.

M: Or it's an active choice. So some people choose to live alone. And after living with a person for 20 years, this could be a very good option, just to make a choice, I'm going to live by myself. Yes. And a good synonym is solitary existence. A bit sad. Solitary is like alone. Existence. So solitary existence.

R: Well, it's not sad if, you know, they choose this existence for themselves. It is sad if it's not chosen for yourself.

M: But just the phrase solitary existence. Isn't it a bit negative? No?

R: No, it just means you're by yourself.

M: Oh, really? It reminds me of some, I don't know, prison. Like solitary confinement.

R: Yes, but that's solitary confinement. Solitary existence is just living by yourself.

M: And, dear listener, solitary, solitary, C-2 word, okay? It's proficiency. A solitary person or thing is the only person or thing in a place. So, like a solitary building, like only one building, or he was a solitary child. And you can see that some people prefer to live some kind of solitary existence. So to live some sort of solitary existence. Young people want to move to their own accommodation, move to their own flat. Why? To get out from the shadow of their parents. Rory, could you comment on this one?

R: It just means, well, the shadow is something that gets cast by light, usually. But it can also be something more abstract. It's like the presence of your parents. You know, if you're in their house, then their existence is everywhere. Because it belongs to them. Whereas... And we can call this the shadow sometimes.

M: So many parents enjoy controlling their children. So to get out from parents, to get out from the shadow of their parents.

R: Well, I don't think they enjoy controlling their children. I think they just like don't have a choice. The place belongs to them. They can't help it. It's their house, they should be able to do what they like.

M: Yeah, true. So to lead their own lives, young people move to their own accommodation, or flat, or house. And a very good structure is there's a great deal more freedom of action to be had.

R: So not just regular freedom, freedom of action.

M: So young people have more freedom of action. So they can do whatever they want. And Rory phrased it, there is a lot more freedom of action to be had when you move to your own place. Okay? An interesting construction. Or when you are away from home, so to be away from home. Oversight, could you comment on this one? There is less oversight.

R: Oversight, it's like supervision by a higher authority. So in this case, your parents.

M: Yeah. When people leave on their own, they should have certain skills. What skills? Loads of skills, like a lot of skills.

R: That was to buy me time to think about what an earth I was going to say.

M: Yeah, like what skills? Oh, lots of skills, you know?

R: Oh, lots, many, so many, too many to name.

M: Decent financial management skills, like budgeting. Oh, yeah, I like this one. So people don't go bankrupt, or they don't wind up destitute. Ooh, and this is a very good word. Destitute.

R: But that just means that you don't have your own home.

M: So to be destitute, without money, food, a home or possessions. Possessions, things you have. For example, the floods, like these disasters where there is too much water. The floods left 1000s of people destitute, so without any home, food, so it's pretty dreadful. Or, for example, like destitute flood victims, or destitute fire victims. Could you give us another example with destitute?

R: Yeah. If you lose all of your money, then you could wind up destitute.

M: What other skills people need to be reasonably organized? Okay? To maintain good order, so to keep their home in good order, so that everything doesn't fall into despair.

R: Not despair.

M: Disrepair. Okay. Disrepair is like a feeling. Disrepair. So repair, when we fix things. And disrepair, the state of being broken or old, so something needs to be repaired. For example, the building has fallen into disrepair. Or my flat has fallen into disrepair. So my home fell in the past into disrepair. It needs to be repaired. So to live on their own or to live by themselves. Young people prefer to live by themselves. To live alone. And Rory used a phrasal verb, it usually comes down to the individual circumstances. So it depends on individual circumstances. To paraphrase depends, it comes down to individual circumstances or individual character traits, or reasons. So it's important to be reasonably independent, kind of quite independent. Make your own choices, we make choices. So have your own place. Make your own choices for your own mental health. Okay? Because like if, for example, like a really anxious person who needs constant attention, decides to live on his own, maybe his mental health will suffer.

R: Or maybe it will get better.

M: You never know. If you're stuck at home all the time. So to be stuck at home, to stay inside. To stay at home all the time. Like to be stuck in traffic. And a very good sentence Rory used, if you're stuck at home all the time, you are likely to be less able to cope with that support. With what support? Support from other people?

R: Yeah, well, you're unlikely to be able to cope without the support you would have when you're living at home with other people because you're by yourself.

M: Yeah. So if you are stuck at home alone? Or if you are... If you live alone, you are likely, like probably you will. Yeah? So you're likely to be less able, it's probable that you will not do that. You are likely to be less able to cope. To cope - deal with. Cope without that support from other people. Yeah. An interesting construction, yeah, dear listener, how are you doing? Are you okay? Yeah? So you are likely to do something, you are not likely to do something. So probably, you will or probably you will not. You can use it in essays and also in speaking part three. What do you call people who live in your flat?

R: Your flatmates.

M: Flatmates. Yeah. Flatmates or if a person leaves in your room, together with you in the same room, this person is called...

R: A roommate.

M: Yeah. So a flatmate or a roommate.

R: And what are the consequences of having them or not, you might have to take sole responsibility for something, if you live by yourself, to have sole responsibility means you're the only person responsible.

M: And then if you live alone, you can do whatever you want, without deferring to anyone else.

R: Which sounds complicated until you realize that the word defer just means you have to consult or talk to other people before you do something.

M: So without deferring to anyone else, without consulting anyone else. Hey! Parents, teachers should help young people to live independently. So another synonym to live independently to live on your own or by themselves.

R: Although this question is a bit ironic, isn't it? Because it's talking about living by yourself independently, but then it's asking how people can help you do this? So surely, if someone is helping you, then you're not doing it by yourself, are you?

M: But maybe parents like prepare their children to live on their own.

R: Yeah, but that wasn't the question.

M: Yeah.

R: I know what you mean, though, I'm being facetious.

M: Parents should highlight examples. So they should set examples, highlight examples of how it's done well, so how to live independently. And parents or teachers should provide opportunities to do that, yeah? For example, children can walk home from school by themselves. So how can parents prepare them to live independently? By providing opportunities. To do something independently, for example, children can walk from school by themselves. Yeah, on their own, with parents' supervision. Yeah/ Actually, my parents did that.

R: Same.

M: But were they there somewhere, like, watching you?

R; In the bushes.

M: Yeah, like, not with you, but like, somewhere away from. No? Or they just like...

R: They just... I think they talked me through it. And then let me do it myself. And they would always call to make sure that I go home safe.

M: Nice.

R: Well, not always obviously, because, you know, I'm fairly independent now.

M: So parents can exercise more control over certain things or less control over other things. So exercise control over things. Could you give us an example with this?

R: Well, parents exercise control over the fact that children have to have meals, for example. But they could negotiate control over what the meal includes as long as it's healthy.

M: And then you added with progressively less oversight.

R: Yeah. Oh, there's that word again. It's supervision by a higher authority. And in this case, they're literally higher, because they're your parents.

M: So parents can exercise more control over other things. And how to say this "with progressively less oversight"? Could you give us maybe another sentence?

R: Well... Just about parents?

M: Yeah.

R: Oh, well, what? As the child grows up, parents exercise progressively less oversight over their decisions, or when it comes to the child's decisions because the child is becoming an adult, and you cannot just make decisions for your child for the rest of their lives. That's not how growing up works.

M: Exercise less oversight over certain things. And then a young person can have full responsibility for things like doing homework, managing their time, choosing their own meals. Sweet. Thank you very much for listening! And we'll get back to you in our next episode! Okay? Bye!

R: Bye!

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