📘 Part 3: Communication skills

This episode's vocabulary

Salient (adj.) - the salient facts about something or qualities of something are the most important things about them.

To portray (verb) - to represent or describe someone or something in a book, movie, etc.

Delivery (noun) - the way in which someone speaks in public.

Message (noun) - the main idea that an artist, writer, speaker, or group is trying to communicate.

Crucial (adj.) - extremely important or necessary.

Exposed (adj.) - able to be easily harmed, influenced, or attacked.

Before (preposition) - in front of.

Isolated (adj.) - happening alone, separately, or only once.

Trial by fire (idiom) - a situation in which one is placed under extreme pressure or stress and expected as a means of testing one's ability to learn or perform.

Attention span (noun) - the length of time that someone can keep their thoughts and interest fixed on something.

Attention-grabbing (adj.) - demanding notice, especially by being important.

En masse (adverb) - all together and at the same time, in large numbers.

Skill set (noun) - the range of things that someone is good at, especially things that are useful in a particular job.

Literate (adj.) - able to read and write.

Numerate (adj.) - able to add, multiply, etc.

To broaden (verb) - to become wider, or to cause something to become wider.

Interestingly (adverb) - used to introduce a piece of information that the speaker thinks is strange or interesting.

Instantaneous (adj.) - happening immediately, without any delay.

Cyber (adj.) - involving, using, or relating to computers, especially the internet.

Stalking (noun) - the crime of illegally following and watching someone over a period of time.

Bullying (noun) - the behaviour of a person who hurts or frightens someone smaller or less powerful, often forcing that person to do something they do not want to do.

Questions and Answers

M: Which one is better, being a good speaker or a listener?

R: Well, if God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason, right? That aside, people definitely benefit from listening more than speaking since listening gives you a chance to take information in and process. Of course, in order to do that someone has to be speaking but ideally, no one would do that unless they had something interesting or useful to say and share. Which is not often but it's nice when it does happen.

M: What qualities does a person need to have to be a good speaker?

R: Oh, there was a great talk about this on YouTube the other day, and it went into great detail about it. And I've forgotten everything. But I think one of the most salient points was being able to speak clearly and being pleasant to listen to, and of course, have something engaging to say. That's actually three separate points, isn't it? Or at least be able to portray yourself as if all of those things are true. So the right delivery and message are crucial.

M: Why do people get nervous when they speak in public?

R: Well, you're up there exposed before a mass of people. On the face of it it should be terrifying, since there are many of them, and only one of you. So you're isolated and under the microscope, as it were, if you don't deliver, they might laugh at you or you could lose face. With all of that in mind, though, it's easy to forget that the people there probably want to listen and want you to succeed.

M: How can people improve their public speaking skills?

R: I think there is sadly, only one way. And that's just informed practice. By that, I mean, you don't just mindlessly practice all the time. But you're doing it with an awareness of what went well, and what needs to improve and trying to work on that for the next time. That could be by studying a certain feature of talking or the manner of presentation. But that's basically it. It's what makes it all so hard to do. It's like a constant trial by fire.

M: Why do many people find it hard to give a talk to young children?

R: Well, kids have a very limited attention span, don't they? So they aren't going to pay attention for longer than a few minutes without some sort of attention-grabbing technique. The sad fact is that most adults don't know how to do that. Even teachers struggle a lot, mostly because they never learned how to overcome this issue themselves. The other thing is that children often think in simple terms, and it's hard for adults to break down the complex ideas of their world for them en masse.

M: Is it good for children to learn to speak in public?

R: I'm not sure it should be about possessing this one specific skill set, but they should be encouraged to try and overcome their fears and not be controlled by them. That learning to talk in public is one way to do this, but isn't the only way, they could try doing something else that scares them or that seems scary.

M: Do people in your country usually learn how to make a speech?

R: As far as I'm aware, it's not a widespread thing, since there are wider issues at stake, like learning how to be literate and numerate, so it simply just isn't a priority.

M: Oh, why not?

R: Well, like I said, there's other things that we need to focus on as a country. So this particular skill is not well developed.

M: Do you think it will be developed in the future?

R: Probably not, to be honest with you. Because being able to make a good speech depends on a lot of skills, including, like having a strong personality. And I think most countries do not want to develop that in their citizens for reasons connected to keeping everything stable.

M: What benefit does the internet have for communication?

R: It seems to broaden the potential audience to communicate with and allows for an opportunity to think about what you're going to say before you say or write it, since you need to make a connection and find the audience to begin with. Interestingly, the feedback you get is relatively instantaneous and easy to refer back to.

M: Does technology have a negative impact on communication among people?

R: Well, you could argue that both ways, couldn't you? I mean, on one hand, you have greater opportunities to communicate with different people which potentially broadens your perspective. But on the other hand, the greater number of people also contains the potential for a greater number of opinions and behaviours you might not want, like cyber stalking or bullying. While the media might like us to think it's always bad, I'm not sure what the best way to determine that is.

M: Thank you, Rory, for your answers!

R: Hopefully I communicated clearly.

Discussion

M: A very good answer: "God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason". And also I was thinking of that. So we have two ears and one mouth, right? Which means that you should listen more. Listen and then speak.

R: Ideally.

M: People benefit from listening, or people benefit more from listening than speaking. Listening gives you a chance to take information in. So you take in information, you process information, you kind of analyze it, you listen, you think about it.

R: And then you forget everything you've just heard.

M: Ideally, your partner has something useful to say, something interesting to share. And then you take it in, you process it. Yeah, it gives you food for thought. Well, not ideally, they just tell you nonsense. A good speaker should have certain qualities. And then Rory told us like, oh, yeah, I listened to this YouTube talk and I forgot everything about it.

R: But that was just to buy time. I can't remember everything they said. But it was basically about delivery of the message and the actual message itself. So the delivery is how you do it. And the message is what you say.

M: Yeah, so how you say and what you say. Yep. So the content and the delivery. The most salient points were about blah, blah, blah. So in this talk.

R: Well, the ones that stood out the most.

M: Yeah, so salient facts are the most important things. Yeah? For example, she summarized the salient points. So the most important points.

R: I don't know if it's to do with the most important always. But it's the ones that stand out the most.

M: So something that stands out. And Rory listened to this YouTube talk, he forgot everything about it, but the most important things, the things which stood out. So the most salient points were about how you deliver your talk, and what you say. Yeah? And a good speaker should be able to speak clearly, to be pleasant to listen to. Careful, to listen to. So always listen to somebody. And if you say, like, the speaker should be pleasant to listen to, we need this to at the end. And the speaker should have something engaging to say. Engaging? Something interesting, exciting. Or even if you're saying some boring things, you should be able to portray it as if it were something interesting. So to be able to portray it. Portray? Like, put it in a way that it's super exciting, right? And again, this is about how you do it. The speaker should be charismatic, should engage the audience, should, I don't know, make jokes and should tell personal stories, okay? People get nervous when they speak in public. So you see? We speak in public, in front of an audience, addressing many people, and if you are up there, so if you're up there, like on a stage, or just you are standing, and everyone is just looking at you, you know, listening to you maybe. So if you're up there, it could be really stressful, right? Or, if people are exposed, they kind of, they feel what, so you are exposed, so you're standing, everyone is sitting down. So you feel exposed, you're just out there before a mass of people, before lots of people. And this could be terrifying. Right? So people could get scared, afraid. So this could be terrifying. And on the face of it. So, Rory, you used this one, on the face of it it could be terrifying.

R: Yes, but that just means initially or at first, or when you first consider something.

M: C-2. Proficiency. Idiom. On the face of it. It's used when you are describing how a situation seems on the surface. For example, when you go shopping and then like, you see the price, on the face of it it seems like a very good price, but then I understood that there is a hole in the dress or the dress is stained, so it's dirty. But on the face of it it seemed like a very good price for this Gucci dress. But actually, it's secondhand. And it's like from an old collection. And it's not Gucci at all. So on the face of it, speaking in public could be terrifying since there are many people, and you could feel under the microscope.

R: Yes, but that just means lots of people are paying attention to you. If you don't deliver. Deliver? If you don't deliver the speech, or if you don't perform well. So if you don't do it. Here, like we talk about delivery, you deliver your speech in public. If you don't deliver, people might laugh at you. So people laugh at you. And you could lose face, a very good expression. Because usually, this is what could happen to public speakers. They could lose face. Also an idiom, so to become less respected by others. Lose face, not lose a face, not lose the face. Not we don't lose faces, no. Lose face. We use it as it is.

R: We can save face.

M: Or save face. So she had to accept it without losing face. So she did this without losing face, without becoming less respected by others. Give us an example where people save face.

R: Oh, I don't know. I'm trying to think. I can think of things that people do to save face. But I can't think of a sentence.

M: Maybe I like make jokes, like, um...

R: Yeah, she turned her mistake into a joke in order to save face.

M: There we go. Yeah, yeah. And public speakers usually kind of use humour to kind of soften it up a bit. And a very good point you made that people who listen to you want you to succeed. Like nobody is there just like, oh, yeah, fail, fail, I want you to make mistakes, I want you to fail. No, they're kind of okay listening to you. And you're a normal person. They're normal people, you know. And even if you struggle, they understand you.

R: Well, I think that's true for most people. Not many people take pleasure in other people having problems, especially when they're up on a stage and struggling.

M: Yeah.

R: Unless you're like a psychopath, in which case, there's a bigger problem than somebody struggling on stage.

M: Yes. Public speaking skills, so communication skills, public speaking skills, because public speaking is something, a different story, yeah? Rather than we talk to people every day. Informed practice. So what to do to improve public speaking skills? Engage in informed practice. And then Rory clarifies what he means.

R: Because I just made that up on the spot.

M: Ah, really? So it's not the thing, it's like Rory's way. So not just mindlessly practising. So like when you practice, and you have no idea what you do, so not just mindlessly practising, but doing it with an awareness of what went well, and what needs to improve. So you kind of like you practice in a focused way. You deliver a speech, and then you analyze what went well, what needs to be improved. You record yourself, you listen to yourself, you take notes. And it's like a constant trial by fire. What did you mean, trial by fire? We usually say trial by error.

R: Oh, no, trial and error, but trial by fire is just you... I guess it's an idiom. We're trying things out live and learning from the experience.

M: For example, if you're bad at public speaking, I just go, okay, Rory, deliver a speech for students at university, there's going to be like, 2000 students, off you go. So I give you this fire. And you try it out, yeah?

R: Well, not quite. It's like, seeing if you do well, when you're in a high-pressure situation. So it's not really to do with learning from the mistakes, unfortunately. It's more to do with the pressure of the situation and how you cope with it.

M: Okay. Children have a very limited attention span. So adults usually, well, can maintain their attention for a bit longer than five minutes. But nowadays, it's a problem, yeah? With all the phones and Instagram and stuff. So, kids these days have a very limited attention span. So their attention changes all the time. So children will not pay attention to you for longer than a few minutes. Okay?

R: I think that's true for most people. I mean, they might want you to succeed, but they've got to, you've got to make people pay attention as well.

M: So, an effective speaker should use some sort of attention-grabbing techniques. So attention-grabbing techniques, some strategies to grab people's attention. Especially, if a person talks to young children. And then Rory continued that the sad fact is that most adults don't know how to do that.

R: Well, they don't know how to do it well.

M: Yeah.

R: Usually it involves shouting. It's just silly.

M: And people might think that talking to children is the same as talking to adults. No. Because children, if they're not interested, they're going to be just under the table in no time. They're going to be just, oh, no, I'm not listening to you, la-la-la-la-la, I'm gonna have a fight, or I'm gonna have this, you know, draw this spider on the wall. So yeah, with children it's much more difficult.

R: Are you speaking from personal experience?

M: Yeah. And it could be hard for adults to break down the complex ideas for children. So we need to break things down.

R: To make them simpler to understand.

M: Children should be encouraged to speak in public, and they should be encouraged to overcome their fears. So some people are afraid of speaking in public, we should encourage them to overcome their fears, to fight their fears. And just do it. And learning to talk in public is one way to do this. Oh, you're afraid of this? Okay. Go and do this. Yeah. Is this this approach?

R: Well, it's a very oversimplified version of the approach. Yes.

M: Yeah. But of course, like in a supportive environment first with lots of practice. Yeah, with kind of like a praising, maybe in class first in front of two people, then practice with your parents, who will praise you, not pick on your errors all the time. Yeah? And then, in front of a bigger audience, make a speech. So in the previous episode, we discussed a time when you gave a speech, so give a speech, make a speech, deliver a speech. And Rory told us that it's not a widespread thing. So they don't teach you how to make a speech, yeah? Well, maybe in some universities, but in most schools, no. Public speaking is not a subject. But maybe there are some, you know, extracurricular activities, activities after school when they teach you how to do this, but usually no, unfortunately. Because there are more important things in life. So this isn't a priority. And then some questions might be about communication in general. So the internet, surely technology, yeah? And the Internet broadens the potential audience.

R: Well, I certainly think it has. We've reached more people with the podcast than we could ever possibly have taught in like an entire lifetime.

M: Yeah, yeah. And then it gives you an opportunity to plan, to think about what you're gonna say before, and then say it, and then you can talk about feedback. So the feedback you get is relatively instantaneous. So you get the feedback right away, immediately, like, right this instant, right this moment. So an adjective is instantaneous, like immediate. Like you deliver a speech online, and then you get some responses about the speech from your listeners. So this is instantaneous feedback. Yeah? Like you write something and then you get an instant response. Instantaneous. Could you give us another sentence with instantaneous? A nice one.

R: Well, when your alarm goes off in the morning, your response is pretty much instantaneous, usually.

M: Super. Technology, it gives us great opportunities to communicate with different people. Technology broadens our perspectives. Perspectives - like views, yeah?

R: Well, or understandings of how things are.

M: But also we should be aware of cyber stalking. Cyber? Like online. Virtual stalking, when people stalk you, they follow you. And cyber bullying. When people bully you, they make fun of other people. Or all these negative comments. Well, you know, yeah? What happens online. Sweet. Okay, so let's choose the words of the day, Rory, for our communication skills, public speaking. So the first word is going to be the most salient points are about...

R: Of this podcast?

M: Yeah, of this one. I like, like the most salient points.

R: The most salient points are about the effect of delivery and the quality vocabulary that we're using.

M: Yeah. Instantaneous feedback is also another one. And it's like a constant trial by fire. There we go, dear listener, another one. So it's like a constant trial by fire. How you do things. Yeah? And also a nice idiom. On the face of it. On the face of it, it's easy, but actually, it's quite complicated. On the face of it. On the surface. Thank you very much for listening! We'll get back to you in our next episode! Bye!

R: Bye!

M: Bye-bye-bye-bye!

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