📘 Part 3: Decisions

This episode’s vocabulary

Major (adj.) - more important, bigger, or more serious than others of the same type.

To lead by example (phrase) - to act in a way that shows others how to act.

To shove smth down smbd's throat (idiom) - to force someone to accept or like (something, such as one's ideas or beliefs).

Reactionary (adj.) - opposing.

Life and death (adj.) - very important and serious.

Far-reaching (adj.) - something far-reaching has a great influence on many people or things.

To adjust (verb) - to change something slightly, especially to make it more correct, effective, or suitable.

To encourage (verb) - to make someone more likely to do something, or to make something more likely to happen.

To pressure (verb) - to strongly persuade someone to do something they do not want to do.

To unfold (verb) - If a situation or story unfolds, it develops or becomes clear to other people.

Progressively (adv.) - gradually.

Approach (noun) - a way of considering or doing something.

Mutually exclusive (phrase) - If two things are mutually exclusive, they are separate and very different from each other, so that it is impossible for them to exist or happen together.

To reflect (verb) - to think carefully, especially about possibilities and opinions.

To weigh up (phrasal verb) - to think carefully about the advantages or disadvantages of a situation before making a decision.

To strike a balance (phrase) - if you strike a balance between two things, you accept parts of both things in order to satisfy some of the demands of both sides in an argument, rather than all the demands of just one side.

To delegate (verb) - to give a particular job, duty, right, etc. to someone else so that they do it for you.

Superfluous (adj.) - more than is needed or wanted.

To abdicate (verb) - to stop controlling or managing something that you are in charge of.

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Questions and Answers

Maria: Do you think that parents should make important decisions for their children?

Rory: Well, it probably depends on how old the child is. I mean, like, my mother always says that I'll never stop being her child, which is very sweet. But it would be weird if I let her take major decisions for me when I'm as old as I am. But, um, for younger children, yeah, of course, parents should make some decisions like clothes to buy and things. I mean, like babies can't decide what to wear. So it's natural and logical.

Maria: How can older people or parents help young people make their own decisions wisely?

Rory: Well, I think leading by example would be a good start. For example, if someone wants a child who is, let's say, well organized, then it would be a good idea to show, well, how being organized can be a helpful skill to have, rather than shoving it down their throat. I think kids can be very reactionary sometimes. So when you try and force them to do something they don't want to do, it can have really negative side effects.

Maria: Do you think it's a good idea to make decisions when one is feeling strong emotions, or is it better to make decisions when one's emotions are not strong?

Rory: It's probably a good idea to at least try and let cooler heads prevail. But my understanding is that most people are guided by their emotions and then they justify their decisions after the fact a lot of the time, which is unfortunate but understandable at the very least.

Maria: Which do you think is better to make decisions quickly or to make decisions slowly?

Rory: Actually, I don't think it makes a difference as long as the logic and the reasoning behind whatever decision it is that you're taking is sound and convincing. Obviously, in some situations, a quick decision making process would be helpful. Let's say you're, oh, I don't know, a submarine commander and you have to decide what to do about another enemy submarine. Then quick thinking will be quite important here. However, most situations are not life and death decisions like that. So it's not it's not always relevant, I don't think

Maria: What's the difference between decisions that children and adults make?

Rory: Well, usually adult decisions have more far reaching consequences and they're guided by some sort of principles. Of course, you can have calmer children who behave like this from a very early age, but it's more common that they're guided by their immediate desires, which aren't as lasting since they are shielded from consequences of their actions by adults... at least if the adults around them are responsible. So say, for example, like having children. Most people under the age of 18 probably shouldn't be having children because they don't understand what the consequences of their action involve, whereas adults, older adults do.

Maria: Does a change of the decision mean that what you did previously failed?

Rory: It could do or the situation's changed. So, for example, let's say that you decided to let's say you've got a partner, and you decided to buy them flowers because you know that they like a certain kind of flowers. So, that's usually a good decision. But what if your partner has suddenly developed an allergy to that kind of flowers? Well, obviously, you have to change the decision that you've made to buy them something else like chocolate. So it doesn't mean you failed. You just have to adjust to the situation.

Maria: Is it good for children to make decisions when they're young?

Rory: Well, actually, in some cases if it helps them develop a sense of responsibility... I don't know, making the decision whether or not to tidy your room or make your bed - that's a good decision to encourage people to make, as long as they make the right choice. Other times, it could be quite pressuring. You know, if you give a child multiple complicated options to choose from and you haven't fully explained the consequences, then that's not really helpful or healthy. So I think it will depend on what the goal is.

Maria: What decisions do people make every day?

Rory: I suppose whether to get up in the morning is probably their first major decision. And then you decide how your day is going to unfold. So you decide whether or not you're going to answer or even look at your emails first. I think a lot of people decide to check their social media when they wake up, like, that's not such a good idea. And then you get progressively more complex decisions as the day goes by, like, how am I going to deal with situations at work? How am I going to get home? What am I going to have for dinner and what time am I going to go to bed? It's not very complex at the start and then it increases throughout the day, and then does your day comes to a close, the complexity decreases again.

Maria: How can people improve their decision making skills?

Rory: I think there are two approaches to this and they're not mutually exclusive. So they could start by reflecting on the consequences of their actions. But the other thing is - they should think about the principles they had that led them to take the actions that they have. So you think about the physical consequences and the ideas as well that lead you there. I think those are two really important parts of the equation.

Maria: What skills are necessary when making decisions?

Rory: Well, there's so many. I suppose the big ones are - being able to weigh up probabilities and striking a balance between what's possible and what's practical, and then being able to clarify why you're doing what you're doing, even if it is just to justify it to yourself. I think, at least in my head, those are the, sort of, key skills when I'm making decisions.

Maria: What do you think are the qualities of a good leader or a good decision maker?

Rory: Decision makers and leaders aren't always the same people. So if you're a leader, then you have to be able to delegate responsibility that's invested in you, and you delegate it to the people who make decisions. This is often the case, at least. So if you're a leader, then being a good judge of character and a good judge of situations, this is probably beneficial for you. Conversely, having the ability to combine the relevant knowledge and sift through all the superfluous information to make a good choice is probably... this is probably good for decision makers. You can combine these roles, of course, but I think it's a bit more complex.

Maria: How do you think computers will change the way people make decisions?

Rory: Well, they've already removed the a lot of the burden of lower level decisions, like how to store information when you can look it up at the touch of a button now. And you never used to be able to do things like that. So I imagine that trend will just continue. It could be that we will give up a lot of our decision making on various matters to computers as time goes by. So probably the complexity of the decisions that we... Or the complexity of the responsibilities that we abdicate or the decisions that we pass over to computers will just increase over time.

Maria: Do you think decision making today is different to decision making in the past?

Rory: Well, not really. For all that, it's aided by computers and the decisions relate to different kinds of product or situation and a greater variety, the nature of actually making decisions hasn't really changed that much. You still have to process information, decide what's relevant, weigh up the costs and benefits, and then summon the courage to make the choice. That's not fundamentally different from when our ancestors had to decide what plants to eat, though the consequences are probably different if you're picking your favorite pizza topping, for example.