📘 Part 3: Feelings

This episode's vocabulary

Augment (verb) - to increase the size or value of something by adding something to it.

Medium (noun) - a method of communication or entertainment, for example television, radio, or the internet.

Intensity (noun) - the quality of being felt strongly or having a very strong effect.

Emotional intensity - a specific “level” (intensity) of emotion that is being felt.

Feminine (adj.) - having characteristics that are traditionally thought to be typical of or suitable for a woman.

Masculine (adj.) - having characteristics that are traditionally thought to be typical of or suitable for men.

Collaborate (verb) - to work with someone else for a special purpose.

Constructive (adj.) - if advice, criticism, or actions are constructive, they are useful and intended to help or improve something.

Caveat (noun) - a warning to consider something before taking any more action, or a statement that limits a more general statement.

Innately (adj.) - an innate quality or ability is one that you were born with, not one you have learned.

Empathic (adj.) - having the ability to imagine how someone else feels.

Focal (adj.) - central and important.

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Questions and Answers

M: In what different ways do people show feelings?

R: I think it would be easier to list the ways they don't, to be honest. There's so many ways. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, hand gestures. To be honest, we're even augmenting our ability to express ourselves in the online medium with like emojis and memes. It's rather extraordinary.

M: Do children show their feelings more than adults?

R: I guess if we understand being an adult as operating in a stage of life where you have emotional control, then I would say so, yes. Children have less at control and a less developed understanding of what is and isn't appropriate. So it's logical they show this more readily than adults.

M: Do men and the women show their feelings in different ways?

R: Well, the options for emotional expression in men and women are the same, so if they want to use similar mechanisms, then they can. But generally, women show their feelings more readily and more strongly, whereas men don't so often, unless it's a period of emotional intensity like weddings or funerals, for example. I don't think one is better than the other since the more feminine mood helps sustain social connections, while the more masculine one protects them, they collaborate. And that's the actual history of the two sexes.

M: What's the difference between males and females in terms of expressing their feelings?

R: Well, probably in terms of the level of openness and welcomeness, if such a concept can be expressed in that way. It's different. So women are more open in terms of expressing emotions, and that's welcome. And for men, it's less so. And there are reasons for this connected to how socialization occurs and in terms of evolutionary biology. But if I summarize the difference, then that is what it is as I see it.

M: Let's talk about expressing emotions openly. How can people benefit from expressing their emotions openly?

R: Well, it clears the air sometimes, doesn't it? If you can calmly say something that is making you upset or angry, you open the door to address that situation. And that's constructive. And it can improve relationships at home and work. This is if it's done sensitively. Obviously, if people are just expressing themselves without this caveat of being calm, then it could ruin everything too.

M: Are there any disadvantages of expressing emotions openly?

R: I suppose the most obvious objection is people valuing privacy or feeling sort of innately uncomfortable with open emotional expression, maybe another disadvantage would be that it could be seen as a waste of time. I'm not sure how true that second point might be, though. If it's being handled well,

M: Do people express their emotions more openly now than in the past?

R: It certainly seems like it, since the avenues for this are more numerous. I'm not sure if you could objectively measure it though, but people often express the idea that people are more emotionally expressive these days. And I think there is something to that.

M: Let's talk about emotions and decision making. Why do employers hire staff who are more sensitive to people's emotions?

R: Well, that's just logical from a customer service perspective. If you have people who are more empathic than they are more likely to care for and seek to find optimal solutions to people's problems. They could also build a bonds with customers and that keeps them coming back and generates more money. People generally really appreciate good service.

M: Do you agree that people base most of their decisions on emotion, not logic?

R: Oh, 100 percent. Most people are guided by their emotions and then justify their decisions with logic after the fact. That's why it's so difficult to get things done in a logical way, because that's not how most people operate.

M: Is emotional maturity more important than intelligence for leaders?

R: Definitely, like leaders have advisors and various sources of information to make intelligent decisions with. So that's taken care of. But as the face of and the focal point of any effort that's being made, they have to be able to handle their emotions and those of other people quite well. That's why you don't see politicians shouting at each other publicly or even privately, to be honest.

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