📘 Part 3: Friendship and Relationships

This episode's vocabulary

At (your) ease (phrase) - relaxed.

Desire (noun) - a strong feeling that you want something.

Networking (adj.) - the activity of meeting people who might be useful to know, especially in your job.

High-achieving (adj.) - (of a person) dynamic, ambitious, and successful.

To keep abreast of something (phrase) - to make sure you know all the most recent facts about a subject or situation.

To have something on your plate (idiom) - to have something, usually a large amount of important work, to deal with.

Hard-pressed (adj.) - having a lot of difficulties doing something, especially because there is not enough time or money.

To keep up (phrasal verb) - if you keep up with what is happening, you make sure that you know about it.

To lose touch (with someone) (idiom) - to no longer communicate with someone.

Opportune (adj.) - happening at a time that is likely to produce success or is convenient.

To reconnect (verb) - to join or be joined with something else again after becoming separated.

Cynical (adj.) - believing that people are only interested in themselves and are not sincere.

To grow apart (phrasal verb) - If two people in a close relationship grow apart, or if they grow away from each other, they gradually begin to have a less close relationship, usually because they no longer have the same interests and want the same things.

To string out (phrasal verb) - stretch out into a long line.

Strain (noun) - a force or influence that stretches, pulls, or puts pressure on something, sometimes causing damage.

In contact with someone (collocation) - in communication with someone, especially by speaking or writing to them regularly.

Connected (adj.) - able to communicate or share information because of being joined to a communications system such as the internet.

To get in touch (idiom) - to establish communication with someone.

To isolate (verb) - to separate something from other things, or to keep something separate.

Questions and Answers

M: In what situations are people willing to get to know new people?

R: Oh, imagine ones in which they feel at ease and have a desire to do so. I mean, probably from having some shared purpose, like networking, for example. When the express purpose of being in a place is to meet people and make new connections to your mutual benefit.

M: Is it better to have a lot of friends than just a few friends?

R: I'm not sure that's always true. I mean, surely it depends on what kind of person you are and if you value having a lot of connections or just a few. I mean, more isn't always better.

M: Why is it hard to maintain friendships for some people?

R: Well, good question. I mean, some very high-achieving individuals might have heavy workloads. And that makes it harder to see your friends and keep abreast of everything happening in their lives. I mean, if you're a CEO, for example, you might have a lot on your plate to deal with, which doesn't always leave time to go for a coffee, does it?

M: Do you think you are good at maintaining good relationships with others?

R: Well, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who said they were terrible at that. I think I'm usually pretty good at keeping up with the people in my life, though, if we lose touch, then I don't generally panic about it. It's usually just a case of waiting for an opportune moment to reconnect.

M: Why do people need to make new friends?

R: Well, at certain times in your life it's a very good idea, like, if you move home or start school, then you have to build a new or a wider social network to have fun and look after your mental health. If you're a more cynical person, you might argue that people with more friends have access to more resources, but I'm not sure how true that is.

M: Why do people lose contact with old friends?

R: Oh, all kinds of reasons. We all change as we get older. So it's natural that people don't always share the same ideas and interests and grow apart over time. Our social networks are also increasingly strung out over many countries and long distances. So something like a move to a new country might put too much strain on staying constantly in contact.

M: How has technology affected friendships?

R: Well, in one way, it's made us more connected, because we're able to get in touch with each other at any time of the day. But on the other hand, it's kind of isolated us a little bit because we only really speak to people who have the same shared interests and we only know that because we're constantly talking to those people, as opposed to just ones we speak to less often. So it could be quite isolating as well.

M: Thank you, Rory, for your answers!

R: No worries!

Discussion

M: So, we get to know new people, we meet new people. And we are willing to meet new people, which means we want to meet new people. People are willing to meet other people. People are willing to get to know other people, if they feel at ease.

R: Relaxed.

M: And if they go to some networking event, for example. Networking? Like an event organized for people to meet new people. Networking. We make new connections. All right, dear listener? Meet new people, make new friends, make new connections. Rory, can I say less friends?

R: No! Fewer friends!

M: Yeah, so, for example, it's better to have fewer friends than many friends.

R: Well, it might be. It depends. Does it not depend on the depth of the connection that you have with people? If you're friends with lots of randoms that you only speak to once or twice, it might not be as good for you as if you have someone in your life who you talk to all the time and you do things together.

M: Yeah, like random people, randoms or friends who you value. Remember, more isn't always better. So having a lot of friends isn't always better than having just a few friends, like some friends. We maintain friendships. So we keep our friendship.

R: We keep in touch with our friends.

M: Yeah, we keep in touch with our friends. We stay in contact with our friends. We maintain our friendship. And sometimes it's very difficult. Yeah? To maintain a friendship. You may have heavy workloads. So some people might have heavy workloads. They are super busy at work. What does it mean to keep abreast? Because breast is like breast. Like a woman's breast.

R: Abreast means to keep up to date and informed about something.

M: Yeah, so keep abreast of something. To make sure you know all the most recent facts about something. For example, I try to keep abreast of any developments. Could you give us another example, Rory?

R: I try to keep abreast of events in the area of teaching or developments in the area of teaching, so I stay up to date with them.

M: And if you are a CEO, Chief Executive Officer, if you run your own business, you might have a lot on your plate to deal with. That's nice phrase, to have a lot on your plate. So you can say like, it's very hard for some people to maintain friendships because they have a lot on their plate to deal with. They're super busy at work, for example, with family. And this doesn't leave any time to go for a coffee. So it doesn't leave any space, time to maintain this friendship.

R: That's sad.

M: Some people are very good at maintaining good relationships. Or some people are very good at, you know, getting along with other people, getting along with people. You can say that I'm pretty good at keeping up with people.

R: Hold on a minute. You've skipped over something I said. Because I said people might have a lot on their plate to deal with. Might have. A model of deduction or speculation. That's all. It's just a higher-level grammatical structure. You might have, you could have, you may have. All of these are good and we never get a chance to use them, even though they are very complex and good indicators of a higher level of English. I might use them more often in my answers, actually.

M: Yeah, you can say I'm pretty good at keeping up with the people in my life. So to keep up with the people in my life? To again, get along well with, have good relationship with the people in my life, maintain friendship, keep up with the people in my life. If we lose touch. Lose touch? Like stop talking, stop meeting, stop communicating. If we lose touch, then I don't panic about it, and then you can reconnect. So if you lose touch with people, if I lose touch with anybody, I usually reconnect with them very quickly. People need to make new friends. So we make new friends, dear listener, okay? Make. Like, we make tea, we make coffee, we make new friends.

R: We create the friendship.

M: And if you move house, if you move to a new home or you start a new school, you have to build a new social network of friends. So build a wider social network. So kind of like meet new people, meet a lot of new people, you build your social network. So it's kind of Facebook, but offline, you know, like you build Facebook from, you know, offline with real people. Sometimes people lose contact with old friends. And there are several reasons. And, Rory, you said that we all change as we get older.

R: Well, we do. We develop new interests or and lose old interests and we move away. So it's not difficult to imagine why people might stop talking to each other or lose touch.

M: Yeah. So people lose touch for all kinds of reasons. As we get older, we change. It's natural that people don't always share the same ideas. We can share common interests, like similar interests, or share the same ideas and interests. Some people grow apart over time. To grow apart? To kind of become away, to become distant from each other, to stop talking, stop communicating. And then, Rory, you said such a strange word. Strung out.

R: But strong out just means extended.

M: Strung out. Well, Cambridge online dictionary says experiencing the strong effects of drugs such as heroin or cocaine. She was strung out on crack.

R: Yes, it can. It can be to do with drugs, but here I'm talking about the extension.

M: Well, Cambridge online dictionary doesn't have another option. Could you give us another example?

R: Yeah, like, well, I mean, runners can be strung out in a line across a road. So that's like a long line. Or you can string out a conversation, which just means you prolong it. So it's this idea of extension.

M: Moving to a new country or moving to a new city might put too much strain on staying in contact. So people lose touch, because moving to a new house might put too much strain on staying together.

R: Makes it difficult.

M: Yeah, it makes it difficult to stay in contact, makes it difficult to stay together. So put too much strain on something. Could you give us another example with this put too much strain on something?

R: Well, being far apart can put a lot of strain on a relationship, if you haven't prepared appropriately. Working too hard can put a lot of strain on your immune system.

M: Yeah, and also on your relationship. Stresses and strains, dear listener. It's always, you know, being nervous about different things. Right, dear listener. Hopefully, you are a social animal, right? So you're kind of like a party animal. You party all the time. You're a social animal. You talk to new people all the time. Ha-ha-ha, like this. If you're not like this, it's okay, you know? Absolutely okay. Thank you very much for listening! And we'll get back to you in our new episode! Bye!

R: Bye!

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