📘 Part 3: Giving advice

This episode's vocabulary

To draw on something (phrasal verb) - to use information or your knowledge of something to help you do something.

Guidance (noun) - help and advice about how to do something or about how to deal with problems connected with your work, education, or personal relationships.

Competence (noun) - the ability to do something well.

Ought to (modal verb) - used to show when it is necessary or would be a good thing to perform the activity referred to by the following verb.

Obnoxious (adj.) - very unpleasant or rude.

To phrase (verb) - to express something with a particular choice of words.

Unsolicited (adj.) - not asked for.

Unwarranted (adj.) - not having a good reason and therefore annoying or unfair.

To put someone off (something/someone) (phrasal verb) - to make someone dislike something or someone, or to discourage someone from doing something.

To heed (verb) - to pay attention to something, especially advice or a warning.

To vest sb with sth (phrasal verb) - if someone is vested with power, the right, etc. to do something, they are officially able or allowed to do it.

Perceive (verb) - to come to an opinion about something, or have a belief about something.

To meddle (verb) - to try to change or have an influence on things that are not your responsibility, especially by criticizing in a damaging or annoying way.

Busybody (noun) - a person who is too interested in things that do not involve them.

Genuine (adj.) - if people or emotions are genuine, they are honest and sincere.

Questions and Answers

M: Do you think parents should give their children advice?

R: I feel like that's literally their whole job, isn't it? I mean, parents have a wealth of knowledge and life experience to draw on and one of the main parts of having a child is helping them to grow up. And you don't really grow up without some guidance from parents, do you?

M: What are the areas in which people are more likely to accept advice?

R: Well, I mean, that's a very personal thing. Generally, they'll take advice in areas which they aren't protective over. But that varies from person to person. For example, an experienced parent might be less likely to take advice over what they should maybe do, compared to one without that, because they have more competence.

M: What advice do parents usually give to children?

R: I think they'll tell them how they ought to behave in very general areas, like talking to others politely, making friends, how to make friends. And the customers of their culture. So in the West, this looks like not being too loud, being willing to help out and not being overly selfish.

M: Why do many young people refuse the advice of older people?

R: Well, I don't think older people realize how obnoxious they can be when they start off by saying, well, if I were you, I would do this And that. Because the clue is kind of in how they phrase it. They aren't the person they're advising and have no idea of the struggles they face. Or no idea about the struggles they face. So if it's unsolicited or unwarranted advice delivered in this way then it's little wonder young people get put off by it.

M: Why is it easier for some people to accept advice?

R: Well, all kinds of reasons. But broadly speaking, there are people who were raised to be open-minded and active listeners, so they're probably going to be better equipped to heed whatever they're being told. Alternatively, other people might be more independently minded. So they definitely won't be taking advice from others quite as easily.

M: What kind of person is most suitable for giving advice to others?

R: I mean, the broad answer is whoever is considered the most culturally appropriate. So for example, elderly people are vested with a lot of influence because of their perceived additional life experience, which makes them wiser, allegedly. However, in other cultures, it's those with money because they have, again, perceived power from their wealth.

M: And what problems can people face if they ask many different people for advice?

R: Well, if you have a plurality of opinions, and they're all very wildly, then it can be difficult to narrow down what the best advice to follow is. So there's at least a time delay. That's a big problem. Especially if you have to make a decision quickly.

M: How important is it for friends to give each other advice?

R: I think that's a must really. You wouldn't want to be friends with someone who kept messing things up, would you? So you come to expect this help if they are true friends. Of course, you have to be careful not to come across as a meddling busybody. But that's not usually associated with genuine intentions of helping or helpful people.

M: Should teachers give students advice?

R: Well, that's what they're employed to do. Think of a teacher as a guide for how things could and should perhaps be done. Then it makes sense that they help out in this way. Of course, it's not only the teachers that play this role in society. It's not the only role that teachers play, but it is one of the main ones I would say.

M: Yay! Thank you, Rory! This is the end of the test.

R: Thank you!