📘 Part 3: Help

This episode's vocabulary

Astray (adj.) - away from the correct path or correct way of doing something.

Confront (verb) - to face, meet, or deal with a difficult situation or person.

Hedge (noun) - a line of bushes or small trees planted very close together, especially along the edge of a garden, field, or road.

Mere (adj.) - used to emphasize that something is not large or important.

Hint (verb) - something that you say or do that shows what you think or want, usually in a way that is not direct.

Give someone a hand - to give someone help.

Burden (noun) - something difficult or unpleasant that you have to deal with or worry about.

Compromise (verb) - to accept that you will reduce your demands or change your opinion in order to reach an agreement with someone.

One way street - if you describe an agreement or a relationship as a one-way street, you mean that only one of the sides in the agreement or relationship is offering something or is benefitting from it.

Devil is in the details - details are important; problems or difficulties are often in the details.

Aid (noun) - help or support.

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Questions and Answers

M: So Rory, what kinds of help do children need when they're very young?

R: Well, all kinds. I think the most obvious is physical support when learning to walk or ride a bike, and you hold their hands when crossing the street to stop them from going astray. Then as they get older, the support becomes more emotional, like in the form of advice or comfort as they confront the struggles of life for the first time.

M: How can people help their elderly neighbors?

R: I think they could learn a lot from my dad. He does the gardens, trims their hedges, collects the posts for them, just about everything else. Once even had to call an ambulance after one of them took a fall. I think that's just a short summary of what can be done though. And this is ignoring all of the mental support, like just keeping people company and chatting to them. Though, loneliness amongst old people is a real problem where I'm from.

M: What are the differences between the help people give their friends and help people give strangers?

R: Well, in general, there's a greater willingness to help friends than strangers. And a similar pattern is sort of reflected to the extent of the support provided. So, for example, you're more likely to lend money to a friend, and you're more likely to give larger amounts to friends than strangers. You can see this in like sort of the mere pennies homeless people get compared to the time, well, I sent someone a few thousand pounds once to help them out.

M: Let's talk about the receiving help. What do people do when they need help?

R: Well, usually they hint at needing it before outright asking. They describe the problem in some detail. And then there's some expectation you will sort of volunteer your support. Feeling that they often apologize and say something like sorry, but could you give me a hand with and then describe whatever the problem is.

M: Why do some people refuse to accept help from their friends?

R: Well, most people don't like to be seen as a burden to others, which is one way of thinking about accepting help. Others are too proud, and this will not allow them to do something to compromise it. Still more think that they don't have an issue at all, and they're not willing to accept it.

M: Do people expect to receive something in return for their helping others?

R: Most of the time yes. Though, it doesn't seem that it has to be some great reward, usually a thank you and the warm feeling you get from helping is enough. Of course, this will vary based on the extent of the support provided and the relationship you have with the person involved. If you save someone's life, and they want to give you money to say thanks, then you could accept it with little guilt, for example.

M: Let's talk about the reasons for giving help. Do you agree that helping someone can be as rewarding for the helper as for the person who they help?

R: I think so, though, I have no idea how you would even begin to measure that. I mean we all know it's usually never a one way street, though, and you do feel great after helping people.

M: What makes someone want to help people they have never met?

R: Well, lots of factors that conscience, their faith, social pressure, maybe guilt if they feel partially responsible for the situation. I'm also increasingly convinced that people are sort of fundamentally good and want to do this because it's just in their nature.

M: Richer countries have an obligation to help poorer countries. What do you think?

R: Though, we should all try to help where we can, but the devil is sort of in the details here. It depends who's responsible for the situation and in what sense the countries are poor. It seems silly for a country like the UK to give money to India when India's got a space program, for example. Although there are many people there, the country is very rich.

M: Rory, thank you so much for your answers.

R: Thank you for insulting our Indian listeners...

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