📘 Part 3: Meeting friends

This episode's vocabulary

Company (noun) – companionship or friendship. → They meet because they enjoy each other's company.

Monotony (noun) – lack of variety and interest; tedious repetition. → Surprises break up the monotony of everyday life.

Unexpected (adjective) – not expected or planned for. → It’s fun when something unexpected happens.

Creature of habit (idiom) – someone who likes routine and does not easily change habits. → Some people dislike surprises because they're creatures of habit.

Disruption (noun) – disturbance or problems that interrupt an event, activity, or process. → Surprises can be a disruption to a busy schedule.

Run into (phrasal verb) – to meet by chance. → Funerals are occasions where people may run into friends.

Bonding (noun) – the development of close emotional relationships. → Meeting regularly helps with emotional bonding.

Neurotransmitters (noun) – chemicals in the brain that influence mood and behavior. → Seeing friends releases bonding neurotransmitters.

Modicum (noun) – a small amount. → Even a modicum of coordination requires planning.

Coordination (noun) – the organization of people or things so they work together well. → Planning helps with better coordination of events.

Climate (noun) – the weather conditions in an area over a long period. → The climate might influence what people wear to an event.

Magnitude (noun) – the size or extent of something, especially a disaster. → A high magnitude earthquake causes massive disruption.

Detrimental (adjective) – causing harm or damage. → Smaller detrimental events can still lead to positive change.

Collaborate (verb) – to work together to achieve a goal. → People collaborate to solve community problems.

Foreplanning (noun) – planning in advance. → Big events require serious foreplanning to avoid chaos.

Get-together (noun) – an informal meeting or gathering. → We’re planning a small get-together with friends next weekend.

Agenda (noun) – a list of items to discuss or act upon. → Business meetings usually follow a set agenda.

Spontaneous (adjective) – done without planning. → Sometimes spontaneous plans with friends are the most fun.

Mutual (adjective) – shared by two or more people. → They have mutual interests, which is why they get along.

Reunion (noun) – a social gathering of people who have not seen each other for a long time. → The school reunion brought many old friends together.

Questions and Answers

Maria: Why do friends generally meet?

Rory: Generally, probably because they enjoy each other's company and want to experience it as much as possible. It's nice when you have a good relationship with people, and normally people like having as much of that in their lives as they can get.

Maria: Why do some people like surprises?

Rory: Well, it's a nice safe thrill that can break up the monotony of day-to-day living, I suppose. I mean, if we all do the same things all the time, then life gets a bit boring. Though it's fun when something unexpected happens, especially with someone you know you like being around.

Maria: And why do you think some people dislike surprises?

Rory: Well, a lot of people are creatures of habit and pretty much married to their routines, so they might find any disruption to that to be a bit bothersome. If you're a particularly busy or orderly person, you might see surprises as something that gets in the way of more important things to do.

Maria: On what occasions is it easy for people to run into friends?

Rory: Well, any time when people with shared connections might need to get together, really. Birthdays and funerals are likely the most common ones, and everyone has at least one person in common there. And if they were friends with the person the event is about, the chances are they would have been friends too, since usually they share things.

Maria: Why do friends meet regularly?

Rory: Well, why does anyone do anything with any frequency? They enjoy it. They enjoy being around each other and feel drawn to their friends in some way, shape or form, and by meeting they get a chance to have that experience – get the bonding hormones and the neurotransmitters flowing and reinforce the likelihood it will happen again.

Maria: Are there any meetings that people need to plan in advance?

Rory: Anything that requires even a modicum of coordination will need some kind of advance planning, just so everyone knows what they're doing. For example, if it's a birthday party, people will need to know when and where to go and what to bring, and even what to wear, since the location could influence that just through the climate alone.

Maria: How are unexpected events beneficial for society?

Rory: Well, I imagine that depends on the scale and nature of the events themselves. If it's something like a random high magnitude earthquake, then that's probably not going to do much good for people, since they'll lose a lot and have their lives massively disrupted. However, smaller scale things, even if they are detrimental, could be helpful, since the society has a chance to react and cope with the issue appropriately, like a mild homelessness problem in a community. People can easily get together and organise to resolve that somehow, and everyone benefits when people come together and collaborate either materially or mentally.

Maria: What kind of meetings have to be well planned in advance?

Rory: You're asking the wrong person. I think everything needs to be planned ahead of time, frankly. It makes me feel safe. However, if we speak more generally, then anything with any significant value invested or expected as an outcome is probably going to demand some kind of foreplanning. This could be something like a major business summit, where people expect to make a lot of deals and money, so in order for that to happen as productively as possible, certain things will need to be decided before it happens, even just to prevent chaos at the big event. Otherwise it could be a huge waste of time and resources.

Discussion

Maria: So dear listener, friends meet each other to enjoy each other’s company. So we are together, we get together to enjoy our company with each other. Surprises can break up the monotony of day-to-day living. So our usual life, we can call it our day-to-day living. Our boring day, our usual day. The monotony - something that stays the same, and usually it’s boring. So when you have a surprise (surprise surprise) it breaks up the monotony of day-to-day living. It gets a bit boring, see? It get’s a bit boring. A little bit boring. Life gets a bit boring, and it's fun to have some surprises. Surprises or unexpected events. Something which is not expected. People can't stand surprises, like they hate surprises. And usually people are creatures of habit. So people enjoy their habits, they don't want any changes. People who dislike surprises are creatures of habit. And such people are married to their routines. So it's a kind of joke, you know, like I'm married to my routine, I'm married to my day-to-day living, where everything is planned, nothing changes, and I know what's going on. So I don't like surprises.

Rory: So if you're married to something, it could be a thing, it could be something, it could be a person, but of course, you could also be married to a thing, which is something that you really like doing, and you don't want to change.

Maria: And they find any disruption of this routine a bit bothersome. So the disruption is when a surprise disrupts this monotony… So if something disrupts the monotony of life, bothersome is a nice adjective, annoying or causing trouble. Bothersome noise, like you don't like this noise, annoying. People run into each other. So when we run into each other, we meet each other by chance, by accident, oops, I ran into her at the supermarket. We meet people by chance.

Rory: Randomly.

Maria: And people usually run into friends at birthday parties, funerals, weddings, different events when people share connections. If you share connections with your friends, you know the same people. So you have mutual friends. Friends meet regularly, regular, regularly, lally, lally, lally, say it, dear listener, say regularly.

Rory: Regularly.

Maria: So they meet regularly, frequently, because they feel drawn to each other. So when you feel drawn to each other, you want to be together, you kind of feel like, oh, I feel drawn to my friend, I need to meet my friend, to be with my friend. Something draws you to something, like it attracts attention.

Rory: It brings you together.

Maria: People plan meetings in advance, so beforehand. And according to Rory, everything should be planned in advance.

Rory: Ideally.

Maria: Yeah, and you see, Rory answers the question, and then he gives examples. So specific examples, for example, if it's a birthday party, or if it's a wedding, or if it's a goodbye party. You see, an example of a specific event. So if it's a birthday party, people need to know when, where, the dress code, the food. So everything should be planned.

Rory: Ideally…

Maria: Then the examiner can ask questions about unexpected events. And then, Rory, like, what do you mean by unexpected events?

Rory: Things that happen which are unplanned. Like this could be literally anything that you did not plan or did not expect to happen.

Maria: Yeah, it could be, for example, extreme weather conditions, like heavy rains, snowfalls, or it could be global conflicts, wars, COVID-19, there you go. But here, I think we're talking about meeting people, but actually, like, the question is general. Like, how are unexpected events beneficial for society? So something like, you know, natural disasters, for example, Rory started talking about them, like earthquakes, right? Or some, I don't know, electricity cutoffs when you don't have any electricity. But could unexpected events be positive? Or usually we're talking about something like an earthquake or heavy rain, a storm.

Rory: Again, it depends on who you're talking to. Because for me, I hate unexpected things. So it's quite a stressful experience, whether it's positive or negative. But unexpected things could have positive outcomes. For example, in a company, you might have not planned for an employee to behave in a certain way. But they did something that was outside of their normal duties that helped the company. So that could be a good thing. In the same way, it's impossible to plan for everything. So sometimes things have to emerge from the chaos almost. And that can be beneficial.

Maria: Yeah, so you can say that it depends on the nature and scale of the events. So scale, like how big this unexpected event is. If it's a surprise party, only for family members, it's okay. But if it's a surprise party with everybody, you know, like the whole company is there that you work for, you know, and it's a huge event. And you have to go on stage, and it's not planned, and you are wearing dirty clothes, you know, something like this. And everybody's looking, and there are like 100 people looking at you. So this is like a big scale event. So it depends on the events, on the nature and scale of the events. And then you go deeper into examples. For example, if it's an earthquake…

Rory: High magnitude earthquake…

Maria: Yes, like a serious earthquake. So that's not good. That will not do good for people.

Rory: Well, I can't imagine a situation where that might help. If you can think of a time in history where a high magnitude earthquake has helped people, please leave that in the comments, because I cannot think of that. And I'm reading a lot of history right now.

Maria: But if we talk about smaller scale things, small scale events, like small parties, or like a heavy rain, or a small storm, such events may not be detrimental, so may not be bad for society. And dear listener, we use society without any article. So bad for society, beneficial for society, or you can say bad for our society, all right?

Rory: That's something important to mention, because I've been reading a lot of essays, not just for IELTS, but for Cambridge candidates. People keep saying the society, and I'm like, which society are we talking about here?

Maria: And if we talk about smaller scale, unexpected events, like people get together, it's good for everybody, they collaborate, they chat, they can resolve different problems, and everyone benefits. See? And this is how you paraphrase the examiner's question. Are these events beneficial? And you say people benefit from these events. And an antonym would be such events could be detrimental, they could be bad for society. And a couple of questions about planning. So according to Rory, everything needs to be planned ahead. Again, a nice paraphrase, in advance, ahead of time. Yeah, but again, it's according to Rory, you may have a different opinion, that's okay. But do use some paraphrasing. So I think that some events, such as birthday parties, weddings, should be planned ahead of time. It makes people feel safe, for example. And anything with some significant value should be planned in advance, like again, like big events. And what's foreplanning?

Rory: Planning in advance, planning ahead of time.

Maria: Yeah, when you foreplan, you plan in advance. And this could be a major business summit, or a conference, right, dear listener? Or important negotiations, or a meeting. Such things will need to be decided before they happen. This prevents chaos. So if you don't plan such a big meeting for 50 people, it'll turn into a complete chaos. Things will get chaotic. Chaos. People will be like, where is my phone, where is coffee? Some people will be lost, and then, yeah, total chaos.

Rory: There are arguments to be made for not planning everything in advance, but I'm not going to make them, because I believe in planning.

Maria: Yay! Thank you very much for listening. And we'll get back to you in our next episode. Bye! Bye!

Rory: Bye!

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