📘 Part 3: Older people

This episode's vocabulary

To accumulate (verb) - to collect a large number of things over a long period of time.

Empathy (noun) - the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation.

Emotional intelligence (noun) - the ability to understand the way people feel and react and to use this skill to make good judgments and to avoid or solve problems.

To model (verb) - to make a model of something.

To exacerbate (verb) - to make something that is already bad even worse.

The norm (noun) - a situation or type of behaviour that is expected and considered to be typical.

Geriatric (adj.) - for or relating to old people.

Strain (noun) - a force or influence that stretches, pulls, or puts pressure on something, sometimes causing damage.

Companionship (noun) - the enjoyment of spending time with other people.

Chronic (adj.) - (especially of a disease or something bad) continuing for a long time.

Taxing (adj.) - difficult or needing a lot of thought or effort.

Spectrum (noun) - a range of different positions, opinions, etc. between two extreme points.

Self-centred (adj.) - only interested in yourself and your own activities.

Social welfare (noun) - services provided by the government or private organizations to help poor, ill, or old people.

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Questions and Answers

M: What are the benefits of being interested in or being friends with older people?

R: It could bring many benefits like access to the accumulated wisdom of older people and their perspective on things. There's also access to empathy and understanding, since the older generation is more likely to understand and empathize with the challenges faced by the younger one.

M: What kinds of things can young people learn from older people?

R: Well, aside from what I already talked about, there are some practical skills which older people may have developed, such as cooking, gardening or home repairs. They also have opportunities to develop their emotional intelligence and financial management and planning abilities, since older people have been around longer. Could also add to knowledge of the historical context, again, due to their age.

M: How can older people influence younger people to make good decisions?

R: The main way seem to be things like modelling good behaviour, so young people can see what making the right choices looks like. They can also give guidance and advice based on their life experience. We already talked about that a little bit.

M: Do you think that cities are good places for elderly people?

R: Assuming they don't have some serious disability that living there would exacerbate, I don't see why not. It might even be better for them, since they'll have access to a greater number of goods and services than elsewhere.

M: And in your country, do older people usually live with their families?

R: As near as I'm aware, the norm is for them to live in their own homes or in geriatric care homes as they become less able to live independently. Unfortunately, people have less and less time to help their relatives and spend more time working so they just can't have them living at home.

M: And what are the advantages and disadvantages of living with an older member of your family?

R: It's hard to say with any certainty because that will depend on how well the older person is and the status of the family. Generally, though, advantages could include receiving emotional support and companionship, receiving practical help with tasks such as cooking and cleaning, and potentially receiving financial assistance. The disadvantages might be conflicts over lifestyle or household rules, financial strain, and a feeling of a lack of privacy, maybe. Oh, additionally, if the older family member requires care for a chronic illness or disability, the responsibility of providing that care may fall on the person living with them, which could be pretty emotionally and physically taxing.

M: What problems in society can being self-centred cause?

R: The list is probably endless, since there's almost a spectrum of being self-centred. But some examples might include a lack of empathy. Like when an individual is self-centred, they may be less likely to empathize with others, and that can lead to conflict and misunderstandings. It can also have an impact on forming teams, maintaining relationships, and make people less likely to contribute positively to society. For example, if they want, or if they don't want to volunteer or participate in community events, and they might be less likely to support policies and programs that could benefit the greater good as well, like social welfare.

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Discussion

M: So when you're friends with older people, so you can be, I'm interested in older people or I'm friends with older people. Rory told us that many benefits, okay? There are many benefits like and then what are the benefits. So you said that access to the accumulated wisdom.

R: I love that word, accumulated.

M: Accumulated wisdom. What is it?

R: But accumulated just means built up or collected wisdom. It's just an advanced way of saying it's built up over time.

M: Remember, in speaking part two Rory told us that all old people are interesting. So everybody who is old is interesting, because all that life experience and knowledge built up over time. Yeah? So older people have a lot of life experience and knowledge, which they built up over time, over the years. And here, when you talk to an elderly person, you have access to the accumulated wisdom of older people, and you have access to their perspective on things. So their perspective on things means their kind of view on things. The way they look at things. Yeah? And then we can also talk about empathy. So empathy meaning?

R: Oh, well, this is the one that I always get confused because I can never tell the difference between empathy and sympathy. Is sympathy not saying that you understand and empathy is sharing the feelings? Is that right?

M: Yeah, yeah, correct. So sympathy is understanding. Like I sympathize with you, I kind of understand your feelings. But empathy is actually a C2 word. It's a proficiency level. So empathy, the ability to share someone else's feelings or experience. So you imagine that you were in the same situation. So you imagine that you are this person, and you kind of feel their feelings. Yeah? Right. And Rory told us that the older generation is more likely to have this empathy, is more likely to understand and empathize with younger people. Yeah? So the verb is to empathize with. And synonyms that we use, the older generation, older people or the elderly, elderly people. Well, you can say old people. Yeah, but it's more kind of politically correct, more polite to say older. Yeah?

R: I was gonna say, it's probably just a case of being polite, isn't it? I think older people have given up quite a lot for us.

M: Yeah, so older people, we can learn some practical skills from older people. Older people have developed these skills. Yeah? So they have accumulated this wisdom, and then such as cooking, gardening, maybe some home repairs. Yeah? So we can pick up some practical skills from them. So older people can also help us to develop our emotional intelligence. So Rory talks about empathy. So empathize with other people, understand them. So there you go. Our emotional intelligence. What else is included? Like how to feel other people's feelings. How to empathize with people.

R: Maybe how to support them.

M: Yeah. Or how to, I don't know, manage your anger? Right. So financial management, right? So some people might know how to manage their finances. So we can learn these skills from them. Planning abilities, since older people have been around for a...

R: Longer time.

M: Yeah. Longer time, than you. So kind of how have they planned all this? Yeah? Or not. And also, Rory mentioned that older people can add to knowledge of the historical context, right? Due to their age. So they can tell us about some historical moments, yeah?

R: Or at least tell us how we got to be in the situation that we're in right now.

M: Older people can influence younger people. How? So older people can model good behaviour. So they can set up some good examples for younger generation. And they can show younger people how to make the right choices. Yeah? So make the right decisions, make the right choices. And they can also give guidance, right, So give guidance, or give advice. Careful. Advice is advice, advice. A lot of advice, not advices. Give advice, give a lot of useful advice based on their life experience. Okay? So because they've been around for longer than you. Older people. Right. When you talked about cities, and if they are good places for elderly people, you used a nice collocation. So exacerbate some disabilities. Exacerbate.

R: But that just means to make something worse.

M: What else can we exacerbate?

R: You can exacerbate a situation. You can make it worse.

M: Could you give us an example? A sentence, exacerbate.

R: When people are angry? It's best not to exacerbate the situation. I should say, do you think that cities are good places for elderly people? I'm sure we've had this question before somewhere.

M: Yeah, it's a typical question. It's kind of like which is better for the elderly, cities or the countryside? Like should elderly people move to the countryside or stay in the city? It's kind of like typical IELTS, dear listener. Okay? Yeah, it's typical. Nothing changes, well, some things don't change.

R: Yes. And still, ridiculous questions like this are some things that just don't change.

M: Or for example, you say like, he's allergy was exacerbated by the dust. So kind of became worse. Or, for example, something could exacerbate relations between the countries between communities. And here Rory told us that if elderly people are okay, they can live in cities, assuming they don't have serious disabilities or allergies, which could be exacerbated by living in a city. Yeah? So it might be even better for them. You see, a very kind of like a soft idea. It might be better, it may not be better for elderly people to live in cities. Because they have access to, well, facilities, services, goods, amenities, you can also say. Facilities or amenities, like cinemas, restaurants, shopping malls. All the people usually live with their families or no. So you said that the norm, so what normally happens. The norm is, for older people, to live in their own homes. And...care homes. What?

R: Geriatric care homes. Geriatric is just another way of saying people who are really really old.

M: What?

R: Yeah, it's a medical term.

M: Oh, my God. Okay, dear listener.

R: This is important to know because some people might be going to university to be doctors, so they might need to know about the different kinds of care that are available. Geriatric care is old people. Pediatric care is children. Obstetric care, I think, is women giving birth.

M: Yeah, so if you talk about very old people... Oh, actually just old people. So geriatric is about old people. Doesn't say the age. For example, a geriatric hospital or geriatric ward. Ward is like some part of hospital or a geriatric nurse. A nurse who deals with old people. But also geriatric in the UK, informal, disapproving. Old or weak. "Who's going to elect this geriatric President."

R: Well, yes, but that's the same as the word idiot. The word idiot used to be a medical term used to describe people who are mentally retarded. And that became something that was unacceptable to describe them as.

M: Yeah, for example, you can say like, a clinic or a hospital for the care of geriatrics. Geriatrics, old people.

R: It's weird, though, because there are some things that only happened to old people. Like if you're an old person, you get a urinary tract infection, then you don't just have pain, you go completely insane. Like, they go crazy.

M: Really?

R: And it's so weird. Yeah. It's happened a couple of times to my older relatives, and I've just been like, what is going on? Have they gone totally loopy, and the doctor's like, yeah, we'll just give them some antibiotics, and they'll be fine. But at the time, you're like, this person has gotten totally off the deep end.

M: Right. So some old people may live in geriatric care homes.

R: Most now, probably. I'm not going into one. I don't know about you.

M: No, I don't think so. But what do you call it, like a situation when children, they just leave their elderly parents in a geriatric care home?

R: Well, they just abandon them there.

M: Abandoned. Oh, yeah. They abandoned them.

R: This is turning into social commentary. But really, I think the way that old people get treated by society is absolutely disgusting. And I would never wish it on anybody. You need to look after your family. It's important.

M: Yes. And then a typical question is about advantages and disadvantages. You can paraphrase it, benefits and drawbacks. Yeah? So pluses and minuses of living with an older member of your family. And Rory told us that that will depend on how well the older person is. So how well like, are they healthy, they're not healthy. How healthy are they? And it depends on the statutes of the family. What did you mean by this statues of the family?

R: Well, for example, if you have enough money, you could probably afford... Well, I don't know, you could do it one way or the other. If you have enough money then you could afford to have in-home care for your elderly relative. But if you're poor, then you might have to send them to a home that's not very well maintained. God, I hate that idea. That's... It's awful.

M: Yeah. So in-home care, you mean that you live with an older member of your family and then there are some people who take care of this person inside the house, in-home care. So like a nurse who is there in your home, taking care of an older member of your family, right? Right. Generally, though, advantages could include receiving emotional support. So you can get emotional support from this older person and companionship, which is a nice word. Companionship. So kind of like you have a company of an older member of your family. And receiving practical help, like cooking, cleaning. Financial systems, perhaps maybe this person is rich.

R: That shouldn't be the main reason that you live with your relatives.

M: Why do you have this grandma in your house?

R: She's loaded.

M: She's loaded with money.

R: No, you'd want to look after your elderly relatives. They brought you into the world and raised you. Like this is a natural part of the human lifecycle. They shouldn't be shut away in homes.

M: Oh, yeah. But this could be difficult, though. Yeah? And we are coming to the disadvantages. For example, one of my friends, she told me recently that her grandma is a hoarder. So she hoards stuff. She has two flats. And these two flats are filled with rubbish and all these old things, and she never, never throws anything away. Can you imagine that? And this is like a, like a disability. She just like, she doesn't throw away anything. Can you imagine?

R: I think though, I mean, that's not something that's unique to old people, though, is it? I think that a lot of people have this psychological problem where they collect things and have problems letting go.

M: Yeah, so this could be difficult. So you can mention this.

R: That could be one of them, yes.

M: Yeah. And also conflicts, conflicts over lifestyle, conflicts over household rules. So the rules that you have in your house, also financial strain, right? Or lack of privacy. So if the older member of your family requires care for a chronic illness or disability, then you are responsible. This could cause some conflict, like chronic illness. That illness is kind of ongoing. And all the care may fall on the person living with them. Yeah? So all the responsibility, all of the care may fall on relatives. And this could be emotionally and physically taxing. Rory, are you talking about taxes that we pay? Taxing.

R: No taxing is like a drain on you. It's a lot of effort.

M: Yeah. If something is emotionally taxing, tax like tax. Yeah? Like we pay. It's difficult. It needs a lot of thought and effort. So it's kind of, it's taxing. And then if we talk about self-centred people, those people who don't want to care about their older members of their family, for example, in society. So which problems might it cause? To be self-centred.

R: Well, on the subject of problems, this is a really random question. We were talking about this before. Why, like we've gone from talking about older people to talking about being self-centred? I'm surprised it didn't say anything like, this has nothing to do with the topic.

M: Yeah, you see, you see, dear listener. We don't actually know the exact speaking part three questions. We kind of know the topics, but the exact questions we don't know. Right? And the first questions are related to the topic you talked about in speaking part two. For example, Rory talked about an elderly person, then the questions are about elderly people. In speaking part three. But then the questions could be about other topics. They may not be related to old people. Let's talk about being selfish or self-centred. I don't know. I don't know why. Maybe kind of like, young people, old people. Are young people more self-centred than old people? Something like this. The connection might be something like this.

R: Yeah, because the examiner doesn't have a set of questions in front of them. They have a set of topics and they make up the questions. And that makes it really difficult. That is your hot tip for the premium. Your examiner is just as out of control of the situation as you are.

M: And Rory told us that there's almost a spectrum of being self-centred. What is this a spectrum?

R: Well, it can go from being really, really self-centred to just being like if you're the only person you care about is yourself and you're basically a psychopath. And then the other end of this behaviour is like, well, just being worried about yourself and others. So it's not like there's just one kind of being self-centred. There are different kinds of self-centredness and they're all various levels of socially acceptable.

M: So self-centred people, selfish people, arrogant people, and then examples, right? What are the examples? So lack of empathy. So lack of this feeling that you feel other person's feelings. Yeah? When a person, an individual is self-centred, they may be less sympathetic, they may lack empathy. They may not empathize with others, right? So kind of understand another person's feelings. And this could lead to conflicts, misunderstandings. And then also Rory talked about teams, and maintaining relationship. So keeping relationships with other people.

R: If you're a self-centred person, then you don't really care about other people, then you won't work well in a group with them, will you?

M: And such people may also be less likely to support policies and programs that benefit the greater good. So policies like different rules, regulations, which we have in our society. Which do good to our world. Right? So self-centred people may be against it. So programs that benefit the greater good. So the greater good is something like good in our society. Yeah. And Rory, the last question for you is, do you think old people and young people can share interests? So can they share common interests?

R: Yeah. Well, they're human beings. And there's a limited number of interests they can have. So like, there would be some overlap inevitably.

M: Yeah, like an overlap. Older people, young people may have the same interests, like in art, for example. Yeah? Or in technology. I don't know, in cooking, there you go. Sweet. Thank you very much for listening, dear listener! Okay? Let's be kind to everybody. And let's do good.

R: Especially towards the older people.

M: Yes.

R: Not like you and me though. We're young, young and beautiful forever.

M: Forever young.

R: Forever.

M: Bye!

R: Bye!

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