📘 Part 3: Promises

This episode's vocabulary

Swear off (phrasal verb) – to promise to stop doing something. → Lots of people swear off cigarettes after health problems.

Reminder (noun) – something that helps you remember. → I set a phone alert as a reminder to call my grandma.

Constituent (noun) – a person who votes in an election. → Politicians often make promises to win over their constituents.

Deliver on (phrasal verb) – to do what you promised or were expected to do. → She delivered on her promise to finish the project on time.

Magnitude (noun) – the great size or importance of something. → He didn’t realize the magnitude of the task he had taken on.

Unplanned (adjective) – not arranged or expected in advance. → The trip was completely unplanned but turned out amazing.

Cognitive capacity (noun) – the ability to think and understand. → Young children might not have the cognitive capacity to understand promises.

Oath-breaking (noun) – the act of not keeping a solemn or serious promise. → In some cultures, oath-breaking is seen as a serious offense.

Dire (adjective) – extremely serious or urgent. → Ignoring the warning signs could lead to dire consequences.

Endeavour (verb) – to try hard to do something. → She endeavoured to be honest with her children.

Pledge (noun) – a serious or formal promise. → The mayor made a pledge to improve public transport.

Gravity (noun) – seriousness or importance. → He didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

Ignorant (adjective) – lacking knowledge or awareness. → They were ignorant of the risks involved in the process.

Effort (noun) – physical or mental energy used to do something. → It takes real effort to keep every promise you make.

Trust (noun) – belief that someone is reliable and honest. → Once trust is broken, it’s hard to rebuild.

Frequency (noun) – how often something happens. → The frequency of broken promises seems to be rising.

Behaviour (noun) – the way someone acts. → Good behaviour is often rewarded by parents.

Sacred (adjective) – regarded with deep respect or religious importance. → For some, a promise is a sacred bond.

Distrust (noun) – lack of trust. → There is growing distrust in political leaders.

Guaranteed (adjective) – promised with certainty. → There’s no guaranteed outcome in life, no matter how hard you try.

Questions and Answers

Maria: What kinds of promises do people often make?

Rory: All kinds, though generally it's to the people close to them about not doing something bad again or to do something good in the future. Lots of people swear off cigarettes, for example, which is also a promise you make to yourself, I suppose.

Maria: Is it useful to write down promises?

Rory: I can't see the harm in it, though people tend to remember when they have made one or when one has been made to them, so it's unlikely that you'll forget about it. Still, it could be handy to have a reminder every now and then to do what you said you would.

Maria: Do people often keep their promises?

Rory: I don't know how you would begin to measure that, though it certainly feels like it happens less often. Take politicians, for example. They promise the world to their constituents and frequently fail to deliver on their promises. I know historically this has also happened, but it also seems more frequent and personal nowadays.

Maria: Why do some people fail to keep their promises?

Rory: The most obvious reason seems to be that they are likely just lying or ignorant of the magnitude of effort required to deliver as intended. Like with the example of politicians. But there are also just random, unplanned acts that can get in the way, like a sudden accident that can prevent you from doing what was guaranteed.

Maria: Do children keep their promises?

Rory: That depends on how you define children. Very young ones might not realise the gravity of what a promise means for many people, just because they lack the cognitive capacity and the experience. Older kids might be more successful, though, since they're familiar with the consequences of oath-breaking, particularly if it's a sacred or religious thing, which can have some dire consequences to reinforce that idea as well.

Maria: Do parents in your country make promises to their children?

Rory: It's certainly been known to happen, especially in exchange for good or desirable behaviour. Even in modern times, when social distrust or mistrust is at such high levels, people still endeavour to keep various pledges. Although maybe with varying levels of success, given how unpredictable the world is these days.

Maria: Hey, thank you Rory for your band nine answers.

Rory: No worries.

Discussion

Maria: So, dear listeners, remember, we keep our promises, but before we keep them, we make promises to people, or we promise something to somebody. We usually make promises to people close to us. To close people: parents, friends, family, relatives, colleagues. And our promises are usually about not doing something, or about doing something good in the future. For example, lots of people swear off cigarettes. So if I swear off something, I promise not to smoke anymore.

Rory: What other things do people swear off? Alcohol, maybe?

Maria: Yeah… Drugs. So to make a decision to stop doing something. Usually something harmful - drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. These three things. And usually it's a promise that you make to yourself. And I read an interesting article on the internet, and it said that there are three types of promises. Rory, are you ready?

Rory: Really?

Maria: Yeah. The first one is a strong, healthy promise. For example, I'll keep fit. Or, kind of, I'll, um, I don't know, get up early in the morning. Then we make shallow promises.

Rory: And what does that look like?

Maria: For example, I'll meet you this weekend. It's a shallow promise. Looks like a strong promise, but you may not keep it. Interesting. And then, Rory, number three, criminal promises.

Rory: Ooh, what does that involve?

Maria: Promises that, at the moment we make them, we know we have no intention of keeping them. So, kind of, for example, to your children, you make a promise, but you know that you won't keep it. That's why they're criminal promises. Yeah, you see, dear listener, you may not be fully committed to your promise, so you may not keep it. Hmm. Yeah, so, you can say that we can, we make strong promises, shallow promises, and promises we are not committed to, we won't keep. Interesting. We sometimes write down promises. And a very natural answer is, I can't see any harm. Like, I can't see the harm in it. Like, is it useful to do this? Well, there's no harm in it, so why not?

Rory: Yes. Or, I don't see or understand what the harm could be.

Maria: So, people tend to write things down to remember them better. And it's a handy reminder, a useful reminder, a handy reminder for people to keep their promises. And to do what you said you will. So, we don't have many synonyms, a promise is a promise. So, you keep your word, or just do what you said you will. Okay. And here, Rory, like, do what you said you would would be incorrect, right? So, do what you said you will.

Rory: I suppose it could be do what you said you would do as well.

Maria: Or just a set phrase. When you write promises down, it helps you to do what you said you will. How often? We don't know how often. Do people often keep their promises? We don't know. How do we measure that? Yeah, it's Rory's favourite answer. Like, how do we measure that? Give me the statistics. I haven't seen the statistics. We don't know. If I could see the statistics...

Rory: If I could see the statistics, you'd call me crazy because no one asks for the statistics.

Maria: Yeah, I do have certain statistics? And, like, generally, you can say, like, generally, I guess that it happens less often these days. People break their promises more often than they keep their promises because life gets in the way. And Rory gives an example of politicians. Ooh, a dangerous topic, Rory. Politics. We don't discuss religion and politics in the test, okay?

Rory: Yes, but politicians are all liars, so it's fine here.

Maria: Yeah, exactly. So, like, for example, politicians, yeah, like, people don't like politicians, or politicians are liars. Yeah, feel free to say that in the list, okay? But be cautious. Like some politicians, for example...

Rory: No, all of them. Every last one of them.

Maria: …some politicians usually promise the world to their people. And that's a very good expression. Promise the world to somebody. Is it an idiom? Idiomatic language.

Rory: It sounds like an idiom, doesn't it? Because they're not literally saying, here is the world.

Maria: So, if I say that somebody promises the world to other people, I mean that they promise a lot of things.

Rory: Promise the world is an idiom meaning to make extravagant or unrealistic promises.

Maria: And you can say that it happens more frequently now. Some people fail to keep their promises. They fail to deliver on their promises for obvious reasons. People might be lying. And here you can just speculate. You can, like, well, what could it be? Let's think. Well, people might be liars. They just lie. They make criminal promises, you know. They know they won't keep them. Or they're ignorant of the magnitude of effort required. Wow, Rory, it's a bit complicated here. Magnitude. Magnitude is just how much effort is needed to deliver this promise.

Rory: It's how big something is. The magnitude of effort is a big effort.

Maria: So, if I don't know what I should do to keep this promise, I don't understand the magnitude of the effort required to keep the promise.

Rory: But you can also talk about the magnitude of anything. The magnitude of a problem just means how big it is.

Maria: And there are random acts, unplanned events that get in the way. So, life gets in the way, and just suddenly something happens, something pops up, something comes up randomly. Yeah, something that you don't expect, and this something prevents you from keeping your promise. So, it prevents me from doing something. The second of Rory's favourite answers is that depends on how you define something. Like, who are children, okay? What's the definition? Explain children to me. Who are they? Like, happiness. How do you define it? Success. How do you define it? And actually, that's a good strategy, because lots of questions are abstract, and you can say that, well, it depends on how you define success. Define - give a definition, give an explanation. Here, Rory asks this question about children. Well, not a question, but like, makes this statement. That depends on how you define children. Who are children? Like, little kids, or juniors, or teenagers? Because children is a general term for kids of different ages. You can say that very young children, young learners, young kids, like four-year-olds, five-year-olds, may not realise what a promise means. They don't know what a promise is. So, very young ones. But teenagers or older kids might be more successful at keeping their promises, because they are aware of the consequences. Like, what happens if they don't keep their promises? And you can use a synonym, like, we break a promise, or we break an oath. Oath is a promise, especially that you will tell the truth. And usually, we take an oath in a court. And parents make different promises to their children. Very often, parents make a promise, and they know that they won't keep it, but they just say, yes, yes, I will buy this toy for you. And then they just break it, because they've never meant it. But they make promises to fob children off.

Rory: That's a good expression!

Maria: Band 9 from Maria! If you fob somebody off, you just tell something to somebody just for them to go away. And usually, parents make promises to their children in exchange for good, desirable behaviour.

Rory: Although there is a difference between good behaviour and desirable behaviour.

Maria: That's true. So, usually, parents say, I'll do something if you do something, or I won't do something if you don't do something. What does it mean to endeavour to keep various pledges?

Rory: To try to keep your promises. I was running out of euphemisms… not euphemisms, synonyms for promise keeping.

Maria: So, a pledge is like a promise?

Rory: Yes.

Maria: Yeah, actually, it's a serious, formal promise.

Rory: Oh my.

Maria: For example, about money. Yeah, to give money to a friend, when you sign something, make pledges. Or, for example, during a wedding, people make a pledge of everlasting love. I will love you forever. Which is not true, because forever, well...

Rory: Forever is forever.

Maria: Yeah, when is forever? Never. Yeah, so, keep different pledges or keep different promises. And this verb endeavour, what's this? It's a very strange verb, probably.

Rory: Endeavour is like to try or to attempt something.

Maria: Try and do something.

Rory: Yeah.

Maria: Yeah, endeavour, like C1. C1 word, band 8 to 8.5. Yeah, a good one. Could you give an example with endeavour?

Rory: I frequently endeavour to do my best on the podcast.

Maria: Oh, yeah. And the listener, I read another article, which is about 11 promises highly successful people make to themselves every day, because you can make a promise to yourself. And, Rory, could you give me a number?

Rory: Three.

Maria: Three. All right, number three. I will never lower my standards for anyone or anything. Okay? So, always have high standards. Give me another number, Rory.

Rory: Four.

Maria: Four. Okay. I will always believe in myself. Yes, that's a good promise. Yes. Self-believe, dear listener.

Rory: What do they have to do with the numbers?

Maria: No, the numbers, because I have a list of promises from 1 to 11, and you give me the number, I read out a promise. Okay. And the last one.

Rory: Oh, okay. I missed that part. 12.

Maria: From 1 to 11, Rory.

Rory: Oh, sorry. My listening skills are not great right now.

Maria: Are you listening?

Rory: 11.5. Tell me your last one.

Maria: 11. Okay, last one. I will always follow my dreams. Amazing. Successful people know they get one chance at life, and one chance only. Okay. And they want to live it to the max. Yeah, come on. Right? Now you know what to do. All right?

Rory: Make a list of promises and keep them.

Maria: You're welcome. Yeah, write them down. Thank you very much for listening, and we'll get back to you in our next episode. In our next sexy episode. Sexy!

Rory: Bye!

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