📘 Part 3: Talking to people

Let's talk about talking to people. What are young people interested in talking to each other about?

Probably the same things adults like talking about, I suppose, but less developed extent and in a less sophisticated manner. Take relationships, for example, they can comment on whether something is fair or unfair, but they struggle to say why and articulate how to manage any issues that might happen beyond the most crude solutions.

Are young people interested in talking to older people?

Oh, I should certainly hope so if they want to learn anything, I think there are two main reasons for it, curiosity and some concrete purpose.

Do you agree that conversations are more interesting if people don't agree with each other?

Well, not necessarily, though it's like this at times. Sometimes it can be interesting to hear a new dimension to consider, for example.

Let's talk about being good listener. What problems might occur when someone doesn't listen carefully?

At the most basic level, people can do the wrong thing or fail to do the right thing. These are different things. And then this has knock-on effects with far-reaching repercussions in some cases.

How can someone who is talking know if the other person is really listening?

Well, there are lots of ways, eye contact, nodding, whether the eyes are glazed over or not, engagement with other distractions, oh, and asking questions at the most simple level. I find that to be a useful sign. If no one asks questions, then they aren't really listening, or they haven't been listening or caring about what you've been saying.

But do you think it's easy to fake it?

I think people try and fake it. But then they might ask you a question. But if you ask a follow up question, and they're just like, I don't really know, or they say something that you've already talked, but then it becomes clear that they haven't been paying attention.

But do you think like most people are just waiting for the turn to speak instead of listening?

Some times yes. But, again, it's a bit cynical, isn't it? You want to believe that people have conversations for genuinely constructive purposes. And that's what I choose to believe.

Would you agree that people who talk about themselves a lot are not good listeners?

Well, I don't know about that. People who are self-involved aren't good listeners. But that doesn't translate to people who talk about themselves. It's possible that people are interested in what they have to say. Or they might have some wealth of knowledge or experience that others lack. So you know that these two things aren't the same.

Let's talk about changes in communication. How has the use of computers and phones changed personal communication?

Well, it increased the distances over which communication can take place, for one. Like I mean, like I can talk to somebody from the other side of the planet and gain their insight and perspective on things. Although on the subject of perspective, it seems to have distanced us socially from each other as well. You see people plastering around with their phones at the dinner table, for example.

But do you think most people enjoy face-to-face communication?

Yes.

That's the answer. Good. Okay, thank you very much. That's the speaking test.

You can tell from the way that people react, they're smiling, and they're having fun, they make jokes. Maybe they don't necessarily do these things, but they enjoy the interaction that they have with a real person, as opposed to something on a screen, which is less real. Even if you're having that communication with a real person at the end of it the representation of them on the screen isn't a real person. If you see what I mean, it's not physically real.

What about the language? Does communication technology have a greater impact on the language young people use, or the language older people use?

Well, I think young people are always into the latest thing. And, well, they've got more vigor. So they'll probably more readily communicate in new ways. But this could have a significant effect on intergenerational communications too. So I'm not sure dichotomy exists here, despite what we think sort of prima facie.

Face to face communication is a basic human need. What do you think, Rory?

Well, I couldn't agree more with that. Despite the barriers and hindrances we face in terms of it now, you experience the whole person when you're well in person, for lack of a better term.

What about the future, Rory? What's going to happen in the future to people's communication?

Well, I imagine it will just become more advanced and sophisticated means of what we already have, we already communicate over long distances, we already communicate more often and with greater speed than we did before. And there's no reason why that can't accelerate I suppose, if we think about very futuristic possibilities then holographic communication with 3D versions of people. And then the means by which we accomplish this will be more complex. So instead of a screen, it could be a projection into your mind's eye almost or your visual cortex. So it's just going to become more sophisticated ways of what we already do.

Thank you for your lovely answers. -