IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people think that children under 18 years old should receive full-time education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people think that children under 18 years old should receive full-time education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.
The essay
The #1 Writing Tool
Introduction: It is believed that minors under the age of 18 would benefit from the provision of education on a full-time basis. I partially agree with this idea to the extent that it’s practical.
"A nice introduction with a good paraphrase of the prompt to show flexibility (in addition to passive voice at the start) and a clear answer to the task."
Rory Duncan
Highlander
P1: The benefits of such a policy are clear. Firstly, if minors obtained full-time education, this would lower unemployment figures and decrease competition for jobs for the period when they are at school. Secondly, in addition to combating the unemployment rate, there would be fewer opportunities for the children to be involved in juvenile delinquency since they will be engaged in studying full-time. Thirdly, assuming the education content is structured in such a way, the students could be better prepared for their working life and future career. For instance, to have a high-flying career a doctor needs more than 7 years of studying, and having a full-time education would decrease the time spent on education later in their life.
"In the first main paragraph there is a clear connection to the introduction before a clearly structured description of the benefits of the policy stating what they are and explaining their importance or illustrating them with examples. There is a lot of high level vocabulary here ("unemployment figures", "juvenile delinquency") and some good modal verbs like "would" on display."
Rory Duncan
Apple CEO
P2: Accompanying these benefits there are some obvious issues to address in terms of practicality. Keeping students in full-time education until the age of 18 is likely to be expensive, which some developing countries might not be able to sustain. Moreover, continuing education past a certain age may not be relevant to the career prospects of some people. Take a sanitation worker, for example. In this case, only a minimal amount of education is required relative to a barrister or a plastic surgeon.
"Another well structured paragraph with a good linking word ("accompanying") at the start. There is a relative clause to give more information ("which..."), and some high level words to describe various forms of employment."
Rory Duncan
Apple CEO
Conclusion: In conclusion, I agree that the provision of full-time schooling for minors is worthwhile wherever it is relevant to the needs of the students and is economically viable for the country in question.
"Our conclusion is traditional and solid in language and structure with a a clear opening, another paraphrase of the task, and a good paraphrase of our answer to tie everything together."
Rory Duncan
Apple CEO
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