📘 Part 3: Encouraging People

This episode's vocabulary

Gravitas (noun) – Seriousness and importance of manner, causing feelings of respect and trust in others. → Lots of respected teachers have a great deal of gravitas.

Fall in line (idiom) – To start following the rules or behaving according to what you are told to do. → Teachers who are natural leaders make their students fall in line.

Talk someone into (doing something) (phrasal verb) – To persuade or convince someone to do something. → She talked me into joining a yoga class with her.

Agency (noun) – The ability to take action or to choose what action to take; a sense of control over a situation. → It's important not to undermine a child's agency.

Undermine (verb) – To make something weaker, often gradually. → Parents' actions shouldn't undermine a child's agency.

State of affairs (noun phrase) – The general situation and circumstances. → That's just reinforcing the normal state of affairs.

Hover over someone (phrasal verb) – To stay close to someone, watching them too carefully, often in an overprotective or controlling way. → It's not good if adults are constantly hovering over children.

Drop praise (verb phrase) – To give praise, often casually or frequently. → Adults are constantly hovering over them and dropping praise all the time.

Milestone (noun) – An important event or stage in the development of something. → They should recognize and reward various achievements and milestones.

Meet someone's needs (verb phrase) – To provide what someone requires. → Employers should make sure that they meet everyone's needs.

A great deal of (quantifier phrase) – A large amount of something. → Lots of respected teachers have a great deal of gravitas.

Questions and Answers

Maria: Do you think some people are better than others at persuading?

Rory: Oh, absolutely. Some people definitely have this great sense of gravitas and authority that makes them almost natural leaders who can make people fall in line. I suppose it helps if you're backed up by some organization or institutional power, which is given to you by something like a school, but it doesn't always seem to be necessary.

Maria: What kind of encouragement should parents give to their children?

Rory: Well, ideally, it should be helpful and doesn't undermine a child's agency. For example, they can make it clear why something is a great idea and support their child to make the right choices in the appropriate direction. But they shouldn't just tell or threaten them to do something without question, unless it's absolutely necessary. Otherwise, how are they going to find the motivation to do things by themselves?

Maria: When should parents encourage their children?

Rory: I don't really know, since I'm not a parent and I don't plan to be one. But in an ideal world, I suppose it should be most of the time, at least when they're around their kids, assuming the children are behaving and things are normal. That's just reinforcing the normal state of affairs. Although thinking about it now, maybe it shouldn't be constant. Otherwise, again, how are people meant to be independent if adults are constantly hovering over them and dropping praise all the time.

Maria: How can leaders encourage their employees?

Rory: Well, I guess the easy answer is by paying them appropriately. But while there might be some truth to that, I'm not sure that's the only thing. They have to set and reinforce standards of conduct and workflow and perhaps recognize and reward various achievements and milestones, even if it's just a mention or an aside, people tend to like it when that sort of thing happens, provided it's appropriate. So that could be another way since the more, well, if the more basic needs have been met.

Maria: Who do you think should encourage people more, relatives or their friends?

Rory: Oh, wow. Well, surely that depends on who you spend the most time with, because then you'll receive the most encouragement. So, if you live at home and you don't get out much, then I imagine your parents will play a key role in doing that. However, if you're out and about and you have lots of friendships and different kinds of relationships with lots of people, then they would probably play a greater part in it since you'll be seeing them more often. This is assuming that we want to maximize the amount of encouragement that's happening.

Discussion

Maria: So, dear listener, as we've discussed, encourage someone to do something or persuade someone to do something. When you persuade people to do something, you make them do it. You talk to them, you make them believe something, you make them do it. For example, in advertising. So a person wants to sell you something and they persuade you to buy this perfume. They persuade you to get a new car. And convince someone to do something, or a nice synonym is to talk someone into doing.

Rory: Oh, yes.

Maria: And make people fall in line.

Rory: Do what you want them to.

Maria: Like she talked me into joining a yoga class with her. So she persuaded me to join a yoga class with her, she convinced me.

Rory: Used her magic yoga powers.

Maria: Some people have a great sense of gravitas. Rory, what's that?

Rory: Gravitas.

Maria: You don't know what gravitas means?

Rory: Gravitas.

Maria: It's when people have this seriousness or serious manner. Seriousness and importance of manner, causing feelings of respect and trust in others. So perhaps politicians have gravitas. You listen to them and you feel that they are serious, important, and you believe everything they say.

Rory: Which politicians have that?

Maria: Yeah. Or politicians can lack gravitas.

Rory: They can, yes.

Maria: Frequently do, unfortunately. Rory, could you give us another example with this gravitas word? It's strange.

Rory: Oh, lots of respected teachers have a great deal of gravitas.

Maria: A great deal of, a lot of gravitas. And authority. Some people have a great sense of authority, which make them natural leaders. So many people are natural leaders, so they are good at persuading other people to do everything they want. Or to make people fall in line. Fall in line. Is it an idiom?

Rory: Is it?

Maria: Oh, it is an idiom. Fall in line. So, if a person falls in line, they start following the rules or behaving according to what you tell them to do.

Rory: Oh, wonderful.

Maria: For example, teachers fall in line with the rules. So at school, teachers follow the rules, so they fall in line with the rules.

Rory: Do they?

Maria: Well, teachers with a great sense of gravitas.

Rory: They make their students fall in line with the rules.

Maria: Teachers who are natural leaders make their students fall in line. Do you have a sense of gravitas, Maria?

Rory: No. No, I don't have much.

Maria: No. Unfortunately, I don't think I do either. No organization, no gravitas, just charisma.

Rory: Just charisma and personality. That's all you need. I discovered, by the way, do you know, it's a slang word, but do you know the word rizz?

Maria: Rizz? No. R I Z Z?

Rory: R I Z Z. It don't look it up yet, but it's used to describe people who, if you have a lot of it, then you can make people fall in love with you easily and you can flirt with them. And I was like, why is it called that? And then someone explained to me, they were like, it's one of the syllables or syllable combinations in charisma.

Maria: Oh, charisma. zzz.

Rory: So I was like, why don't people just call it charisma? But apparently, that's too complicated nowadays.

Maria: Oh, wow. Rizz. Rizz. Charisma. So according to Cambridge Dictionary, it's slang. So it's slang, but actually you can use it in IELTS. Why not?

Rory: When you use it in IELTS, your examiner will look at you like you're insane. You can use charisma.

Maria: Oh, okay. All right. So it's slang, dear listener. It's so it's really, not kind of not bad, but slang. Not traditional English. Rizz, a noun. The ability to attract people's attention, make them like you, often in a romantic or sexual way. She has more rizz than anyone I've ever met.

Rory: Look at you using the word sexual as if that's going in the podcast.

Maria: Make them like you often in a romantic way. She has more rizz than anyone I've ever met. Wow, interesting. So dear listener, you see a modern slang word, rizz, that you can't use in your IELTS test. You're welcome. Encourage people to do something or encouragement. That's a noun. And what verbs do we use with encouragement? Like blah, blah, encouragement.

Rory: Oh.

Maria: What, what do you mean? The verbs that go with it? Like collocation?

Rory: Exactly, yes. So we blah, blah, encouragement to people.

Rory: Oh, yes. Oh my God. Some English teacher I am. Oh, wow. I was like, what is the most... what's the most complex verb that you could go out with encouragement? And Maria's like, it's give, it's simple, Rory.

Maria: Dear listener, and Rory's laughing, but actually give encouragement to someone is a good collocation, and it's kind of band eight, band nine, it's an accurate phrase, a very specific phrase. So, parents should give encouragement to their children. That's simple, but you are using synonyms like encourage people to do something or give encouragement...

Rory: Actually, it was in the question.

Maria: What kind of encouragement should parents give?

Rory: See, this is it. I didn't even think about looking at the question, but I often try not to repeat the question in the answer. So I've been foiled by my own plan. Whoops. Oh, well.

Maria: So if the examiner asks you what kind of encouragement should parents give to their children, then you say, oh, they should persuade their children to, to encourage children to do something. So we use a verb.

Rory: They should build up their agency.

Maria: But agency is just how in control of the situation you are. If you have good agency, then you feel in control and you have lots of control over a situation. If you have no agency, you have zero control and it's very bad for your mental health, apparently. But we could undermine it, which means to make it worse.

Rory: Undermine is C2.

Maria: Oh, is it? Yes.

Rory: It's proficiency. I knew it. I love that word. It's my favorite word.

Maria: Yeah, agency is the ability to take action, to choose what action to take. So it's not like agency like a company in this context. So children should have a sense of agency, as if they are an agent who acts.

Rory: Well, I think they should have a sense of agency. Other people think children should just do as they're told.

Maria: I think that parents should encourage their children to act more actively, so to encourage their sense of agency, to make them more active in doing stuff, in choosing what to do. Making the right choices, we make a choice. So parents can encourage their children to make right choices. Since I'm not a parent, I don't really know. So, if you don't have any children...

Rory: And if you don't plan to be a parent.

Maria: Since I'm not a parent, as I'm not a parent, because I'm not a parent, I don't know. And this is a good strategy to answer any children's question. So, I am not a parent. Since I'm not a parent, I don't have a clear idea. But in an ideal world, I suppose... In an ideal world, ideally, in a perfect world, I suppose it should be this. I suppose it should be the time when, blah blah blah.

Rory: But also assuming that things are normal and children are behaving normally.

Maria: The normal state of affairs. That's a nice one. State of affairs, how things are.

Rory: Or if you like to use French words in English, the état de fait.

Maria: What?

Rory: Yeah, that's it's a French phrase that we use in English. It means state of affairs.

Maria: Je voudrais un croissant. Je suis allergique.

Rory: You can't say I would like a croissant and then say I'm allergic.

Maria: I can. Why not?

Rory: Because you...

Maria: Ah, je suis allergique a la floraison.

Rory: Not framboise.

Maria: All right, okay. Where were we? Could you repeat that thing, please?

Rory: État de fait.

Maria: Right, dear listener, we are going to ignore it.

Rory: What?

Maria: No. Because we are not using any French in our English.

Rory: That's very mean. It means the state of affairs, the condition that we find ourselves in.

Maria: Yeah, exactly. So the normal state of affairs.

Rory: You have no appreciation for other languages at all.

Maria: No, I I do love other languages, but it's difficult to pronounce. It's like...

Rory: I like other languages, just not in my IELTS.

Maria: I mean, speak English in your IELTS, okay? But if you have to say the Eiffel Tower, you can say la Tour Eiffel. Why not? Like French.

Rory: Anyway, state of affairs.

Maria: Parents are constantly hovering over their children. That's a band nine phrasal verb. Hover over somebody. It's funny because it's like hover over. It's like a helicopter. Can you imagine a helicopter?

Rory: And it's called helicopter parenting.

Maria: Yeah, when a parent controls their children, they stay with the children all the time. They are overcontrolling, so they hover over their children. Hover over. And for example, when you use a computer, your mouse hovers over something. So before you click on it, you have to hover your mouse over something and then you click on it. Parents usually encourage their children by using praise. Praise when they say, "Oh, well done, my boy." So parents praise their children or drop praise all the time. Like give praise or drop praise. Employees or workers could be encouraged with a better position, with money, with promotion, and recognition. So, the company should recognize their achievements, achievements, what they have achieved.

Rory: And milestones, which is another kind of achievement.

Maria: Yeah, that's a nice one. A milestone. If, for example, an employee did something very well, oh, that's a milestone. For example, they negotiated a contract which is very important. So that's a milestone, an important event.

Rory: They hit their targets.

Maria: Yeah, and actually a milestone is a stage in a child's development at which they do particularly well. So the first step, for example, the first smile is a milestone. Graduating from a university is a milestone. You getting band seven or eight for your IELTS or even 6.5, that's a milestone. You taking the test, dear listener, that's a milestone. To meet basic needs. That's a nice expression. So when a company meets employees' needs. To meet someone's needs.

Rory: They pay them enough, for example.

Maria: Yeah, they give them an office. It's so warm. They give them a computer. So we need a flat to meet our needs. And employers, companies should make sure that they meet everyone's needs. Or they should make sure that everyone's needs are met. Yeah, the passive voice, super cool. Lovely. Dear listener, we are encouraging you to learn English, to learn phrasal verbs and new vocabulary, okay, with us. We love you, we hug you. Stay in touch, okay? Bye!

Rory: Bye.