M: Rory, do you like watching sports programmes on TV?

R: I'm afraid not. Though, if I had to watch something, it would be something like, I don't know, mixed martial arts or rugby. It's not something I have a lot of time to get emotionally invested in. Sorry.

M: Do you like to watch live sports games?

R: I think I've been to the sum total of one in my entire life, if we exclude the ones I've seen on TV. I'd rather be reading or writing I think.

M: Who do you like to watch sports with?

R: Uh, well, whenever I have, it's been friends and family. I couldn't say in any greater detail because it doesn't really stick out in my memory, to be honest.

M: What was your favourite sport when you were a child?

R: Oh, I was probably the least athletic child in the universe. I didn't play any sports at all. And I actually made an active effort to get out of PE class when I could. That's a bit unfortunate, really, since I really liked exercise in later life, but our PE classes were pretty dire. So I usually gave them the body swerve.

M: What's the difference between watching sports live at the stadium and watching it on TV at home?

R: Well, from my perspective, they're both equally boring. But if you're someone who's into those things, then I suppose being in a stadium allows you to feel part of the crowd and access the rush of seeing things with your own eyes. Whereas if something is on TV, the environment might be more comfortable and the view less easily obscured.

M: Thank you, Rory, for your sporty answers!

R: Hopefully they give people a sporting chance in the exam...

R: Sorry :(

M: What does it mean, a sporting chance?

R: Just a fair opportunity to win.

M: So sports programmes. Yeah, anything that you watch about sports is a sports program. Okay? On TV or Netflix. Where else can you watch stuff? On your phone. On somebody else's phone.

R: On your tablet. Sometimes, do they not have those screens in the metro where you can look at them while they're being played?

M: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

R: I don't know, I think I've seen that. I think. I don't know for sure. I can't really remember.

M: Yeah, they show some games or some news about, I don't know, sport. And Rory doesn't watch sports programmes. So he goes like, well, I'm afraid not. Right? So do you like watching sports programmes? I'm afraid not. Like, I don't watch them. If I had to watch it, I'd watch rugby. You see? So this "if I had strategy". So if I had to do it, I'd watch this. Or it would be, it would be this. So this strategy is true for any question. For example, Rory, what's your favourite sports program on Netflix?

R: Oh, I don't really watch sports programmes, but if I had to watch one, then I'd probably watch a documentary about them because at least then I'd be learning something.

M: Rory, what's your favourite, yellow bananas or green bananas?

R: Well, I don't really like either of them. If I had to pick one, I'd pick green bananas because they're apparently sweeter.

M: Yeah, fried green bananas. Rory hates bananas. And also he doesn't like raisins. Yeah. Some of our listeners think it's very strange, Rory, that you don't like bananas.

R: Well, they can have fun being wrong. No one should like bananas. They're awful.

M: What about a banana ice cream? Banana pie? Banana milkshake?

R: No, no, no. Stop. It's anything with, anything with bananas, I just can't. Sorry, people, but that's just one shortcoming that I have. One of the many.

M: Yeah, Rory's weird.

R: Thank you.

M: Yeah, it's just like a fact. So that's okay. So if I had to watch something, it would be rugby or martial arts. Mixed martial arts, where people want what? To inflict pain on each other? They are very aggressive?

R: No. They use different martial arts techniques to subdue their opponents. That is very different to just inflicting as much pain as possible as anyone who has seen that will know.

M: I thought they wanted to knock them down, like to knock down.

R: Well, if you knock someone down, then you subdue them.

M: Oh, okay. So if they beat the stuffing out of them, that's also this subdue, right?

R: No, it's not the point.

M: No? Ah, come on, but you have like two people, one needs to win. So the winner will beat the stuffing out of the other one. That's the point. No?

R: No, that is not the point. That is only the point, if you are a very violent person. No, the point is to make sure that your opponent doesn't win by subduing them, by preventing them from fighting further. I mean, the easiest way to do that would be knocking someone out. But that's not the best way of doing it. That certainly wouldn't win you the most points in any sort of match, to be honest.

M: But when a person goes to martial arts, or when a person watches martial arts, they are quite violent and aggressive, right?

R: No, because I do that. And I'm not a violent or aggressive person.

M: Oh, maybe deep inside Rory?

R: No.

M: Maybe like it's your dark side?

R: It's too much work.

M: Oh, okay, sweet. So you see, if I had to watch something, it would be mixed martial arts, rugby, swimming, the Olympic Games, the Olympic Games. Yep? And Rory says that, no, I'd rather read or write, right? So I'd rather instead of watching stupid sports programmes, I'd rather read or write or I'd rather play computer games. So you see, I'd rather do this because I don't like your sports programmes. And that's fine to say that I don't like them. Just explain why you don't like them. Yeah? And the examiner will ask you some strange questions, yeah? And Rory goes like, well, it doesn't really stick out in my memory. It doesn't really stick out in my memory. Rory, what does it mean?

R: Yeah, so if something doesn't stick out, it just means that it's not something that you readily notice when you remember it, to be honest. So it's like, well, every single lesson that you had when you were a child probably doesn't stick out in your memory because you don't have that much memory. You only remember the big things.

M: So if the examiner asks you a really bizarre question, and you go like, you know, I really don't remember. When I was a child, maybe I watched some sports programs. Maybe I used to have this favorite chair. I used to sit on the floor. It kind of it doesn't really stick out in my memory. Sorry.

R: And good use of use to as well.

M: And now we know that in terms of evening time, Rory is a boring person. Rory was also the least athletic child.

R: But that's just another way of saying I wasn't very athletic. Or very sporty.

M: Yes. And by the way, I joined the gym for the first time in my life. Maria, this Maria joined the gym.

R: I don't really understand what you need to, if you've been like cycling across Europe.

M: He-he, cycling across Europe. Nice. Yes, I was for four months.

R: Yes, exactly. So if you did that, then how much do you need to join a gym? Seriously.

M: No, just you know, for fun. Just to check out all these machines, which are from space. They are like aliens. You know, standing there looking at me like Maria you need to do this. Oh boy, oh, gyms are funny.

R: But gym is a funny place.

M: Okay, okay, back to the athletic thing. So athletes, sportsmen or sportswomen, sports people, athletes, or you can say like, I wasn't athletic. And PE, PE stands for what?

R: Physical Education.

M: Yeah. So Rory said that, oh, I made an active effort to get out of PE classes.

R: But that just means I didn't like going and I didn't want to go.

M: Because those classes were pretty dire. Dire.

R: Dire just means like really bad. Usually people talk about a dire situation when everything looks a bit hopeless. But a PE class can be dire because it's boring, or because it's badly taught or it's a waste of time or all of these things, really.

M: Yeah, the same like watching sports live at the stadium, at the stadium. Or on TV. They are equally boring, for Rory. Yeah, maybe for you they are not. Have you ever watched a live football match, Rory? You are British. You're supposed to love football.

R: I watched a football match between Croatia and Scotland in like, 1997, I'm gonna say. It's quite young.

M: Okay.

R: No, probably not. Maybe it's closer to 2001. But either way, it was really boring. And that's why I don't really remember the dates clearly because it doesn't stick out in my head.

M: Are you, are you British? I thought most British people enjoy football.

R: No, I'm Scottish. That is very different.

M: Yeah, but your friends love football. Right? And they enjoy going to the stadium and to watch a live game.

R: No.

M: No, they don't?

R: I think the closest thing to that, and I should be very careful how I say this, because I like my cousins. But the closest thing to friends going is my cousin's going, and they go to football matches. But that's not, I mean, that's family members, that's relatives. That's not the same as friends.

M: Oh, how interesting. Okay. So when you go to the stadium, you can feel part of the crowd. So I feel part of the crowd, I feel this, you know, ecstasy, and hey, I can cheer for my team. And also I can shout different things and bad words out loud. I can comment on things together with the crowd. And actually, some fans are really cool. Like, I remember during the World Cup, Brazilian fans, they would bring special drum, and one person would just like boom, boom, boom, and they were like cheering. Oh, wow, that was spectacular.

R: Is there not a name for fans like that? Are they not called ultras?

M: I don't know.

R: Oh, okay, well, I don't know why I remember this or where I was reading it. But apparently there's a kind of football fan called ultra. And it's an Italian term, but it's used to apply to like really major football fans of any team, to be honest with you. And they do crazy things like that, and they make banners and things.

M: Oh, so check it out. Wikipedia. Ultras are a type of association football fans who are famous for their fanatical support. The term originated in Italy. Oh, hello, Italian listeners. Are you an ultra? Yeah, but it's used everywhere to describe predominantly organized fans of association football teams. Oh, interesting. So this ultras. Oh, they have like flares. They have this flares, their vocal support in large groups, so they can sing in an organized nice way. And banners. They have banners. Nice. Ultra. Ultras. So there are many ultras in the UK?

R: I don't know about that. But there's definitely lots of them in specific sports. Well, you could say that, actually. That's another way of like saying you don't really like watching sports. You could say like, well, I'm not really an ultra, or an ultra fan or a super fan.

M: Oh, yeah. Cool. Like sometimes I kind of... I am not really an ultra... But I enjoy going to the stadium to watch a game.

R: And if you wanted to expand upon it, you could say which is the word used to describe super fans if your examiner is looking a bit confused, and then you know more than the examiner does.

M: yeah, you educate the examiner. Sweet. Thank you very much for listening and watching and liking and subscribing.

R: And we'll see you next time.

M: Bye!

R: Bye!

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