M: Do you usually use a pen or a pencil?

R: Almost always a pen. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did something with a pencil, except for, well, drawing something for a class.

M: Do you prefer a pen or a pencil?

R: Um, I always write in pen these days. I have no idea why. I think initially it just felt more grown up. But the feel of the nib meeting the paper is also better. Also, you don't need to sharpen a pen, though rubbing things out is an obvious challenge.

M: When was the last time you bought a pen or a pencil?

R: I think it was sort of had to draw a model of something for one of my classes. Since the kids had to use pencils, it was my only option. I had to colour it in by hand too to replicate the experience the students might have.

M: Would you give a pen or a pencil as a gift?

R: I mean, if someone asked me to, I might, but it would have to be if, well, either a very posh one or one with a particular purpose. I don't think you could give someone a regular Biro and expect them to be pleased about it.

M: And have you ever received a pen or a pencil as a gift yourself?

R: Yes, my parents sometimes buy me Biro pens for my birthday or gel pens as well, actually. I actually got an erasable gel pen recently, so rubbing things out isn't such a problem.

M: Hey! So dear listener, to prepare for this topic, pens and pencils, please listen to our previous episode about pens and pencils. So we use a pen or we use a pencil. Rory, can I say I write with a pen, I write with a pencil, by a pencil? You could write on a pencil if you're making a note on it or writing your name on it. Most people write with a pencil, though.

M: So I write with a pen or with a pencil.

R: And the writing would be in pen or pencil.

M: Ooh... So I use a pen to write, I write with a pen. And also I say I write in pen.

R: Yeah.

M: I write in pencil, but no article, right? Because it's written in pencil.

R: Exactly.

M: And you can say that I usually use a pen. I usually write with a pen. And I do some drawing in pencil, okay? But be careful, dear listener, with articles. So I use a pencil, I use a pen, but I write in pen, I write in pencil. You can also say I prefer pens. I prefer pencils, all right? And careful s. Pens, pencils. Rory, how do you say it? I prefer...

R: To write in or write with pens and pencil.

M: Yeah, pens and pencils. You can say I always write in pen these days, and I prefer pens because of this nib meeting the paper.

R: So the nib is just the tip of the pen, basically. It's the part that makes contact with the paper.

M: A pointed metal part at one end of a pen that the ink flows. Okay? So the ink is this thingy that we write with. So nib. And you can say that I prefer pens because I like the feel of the nib meeting the paper. Also, you don't need to sharpen a pen. We sharpen a pencil because pencils rub off, they kind of become not so sharp. So you need to sharpen them, and you need a pencil sharpener because you sharpen the pencil with a pencil sharpener. And with pens, you don't have to rub things out. So you just like to cross things out with a pen, and if you write with a pencil, you need to rub things out with what?

R: A rubber.

M: A rubber. Yeah, or an eraser.

R: But to rub things out just means to remove the mistake.

M: It was when I had to draw something, it was when I had to write something, okay? Or I don't remember when I last bought a pen or a pencil. I had to colour something. I had to write something by hand. Okay? Usually, people give pens or pencils as a gift. And if we talk about an expensive pen or pencil, it could be a nice present or a gift. And Rory told us that I don't think I could give someone a regular... Biro, you said?

R: Yeah, Biro pen is just like a very cheaply made ballpoint pen that you can get anywhere. They're very cheap. But the point is, you don't really give that to people because they're so inexpensive. It's kind of almost rude, unless you're me, in which case I'm like, ooh, pens.

M: Yeah. And you take a Biro pen from a hotel, you know, for free, and they go, oh, there you go, happy birthday.

R: What I'm getting from this is that Maria steals pens.

M: I don't steal pens.

R: I liberate them.

M: They're for free in different hotels, you know?

R: Tell it to the judge.

M: So they're just there for you to have, and I have them. And what is an erasable pen?

R: It's just exactly what it sounds like. It's got ink in it that you can rub out like you would a pencil. It's really cool, actually.

M: Yeah, dear listener, also here, you can use such words as I prefer ballpoint pens. Ballpoint. The best way to understand what I'm talking about is to open Google images and write ballpoint pen, and you'll see pictures and you understand what I mean. Okay? So ballpoint pens, or Rory, you said, like gel pens with gel. So they don't have ink, they have a gel inside.

R: Yeah, I'm not really sure what the difference is. I think gel dries faster than regular ink, but I'm not sure about that.

M: Yeah. Also, we have novelty pens. A novelty pen it's for us like to amuse us, and such a pen has different animals on top, different toys, and it can play music, for example, it could be in the shape of an animal or, yeah, some crazy, crazy pens. Also fountain pens. What are fountain pens?

R: I think fountain pens are ones where you draw ink into them, like a syringe, and so this is how you refill them, but it's not something I've ever used, so I don't know much about them. How do you use a fountain pen?

M: Yeah, yeah. So they have this ink reservoir or cartridge, okay? Yeah, beautiful fountain pens. They are pretty expensive. Yeah? Parker fountain pens, and they have this metal nib. Also, you can say that I usually use stylus pens. So if you have this smartphone and you have a stylus so you can say that, okay, I use a stylus pen and I use it on my smartphone. Rory, what's the most expensive pen in the world in 2024?

R: Oh, god, it's gonna be something ridiculous, like it's going to be a million dollars or a million pounds or something, isn't it?

M: So this pen, it has a strange name, the Fulgor Nocturnus pen is priced at $8 million.

R: Of course it is.

M: $8 billion. So it has rubies and 945 black diamonds. Are you joking?

R: And who is, who buys this? Who's going to buy this?

M: I don't know. Maybe it's in a museum. Oh, wow. Okay, it looks like a regular pen, to be honest with you.

R: Yes, it is a regular pen. That is insane. 8 million. Oh, my God, it's crazy. So dear listener, you can go ahead and say, well, yeah, if I were to give a pen as a present...

R: I would buy the one that's millions of pounds, of course.

M: $8 million, okay? With diamonds and rubies.

R: Sure.

M: Okay, how about a pencil?

R: Oh, God. Are we looking at the most expensive pencil?

M: Yeah. The most expensive pencil in the world. Oh, you can buy a pencil for $1 million.

R: Oh, my God. That is beyond ridiculous.

M: Dear listener, now you know the prices. Okay? So now you know the market. Like what's going on, and you can educate the examiner about all the prices. Like, would you give a pen or pencil as a gift? And you know, like, and you know what, I'd love to give the most expensive pencil and a pen. And the prices range from blah, blah to $1 million. And the examiner will be shocked.

R: That is crazy, but yes.

M: And we wrap it up with a joke.

R: Oh, really? I thought the prices were enough of a joke.

M: What's a pen's favourite day of the week? "Pentastic" Friday.

R: Thank you very much for listening.

M: Rory explains the joke.

R: I don't know what the joke means.

M: No. What do you think? What do you reckon? You're a native speaker. You're an educated native speaker. So go ahead. So what's a pen's favourite day of the week? So we have a pen. What's its favourite day of the week? And the answer is "pentastic" Friday.

R: I don't, I don't understand the joke. I don't know why it's a joke. You tell me.

M: No, maybe like, it's like, fantastic sounds like pentastic. And the joke is like pen. What's a pen's favourite day of the week? It's "pentastic", fantastic.

R: So you have told the joke without understanding why it's funny.

M: Exactly. I thought you'd explain the joke. It's your language. It's your jokes.

R: Oh no, no, no. Don't try and foist this one off on me.

M: Oh, dear listener, did you get the joke? No?

R: No? If you didn't, then you're in the same boat as me.

M: Yeah, so we don't understand the joke. So yeah. Thank you very much for listening! And we'll get back to you in our next episode. Bye!

R: Bye! "Pentastic". Who are you?

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